Category: Thoughts

An Inconvenient Truth

Global warming is not a speculative theory. It’s a proven syndrome, despite what so-called “skeptics” (read: those with financial interests in carbon dioxide producing industries) claim. Former vice-president of the United States, and possibly the rightfully elected president in 2000, Al Gore, has toured the world for years giving a power-point slide show that cogently...

Unlawful Internet Gaming Act

Yesterday, after nearly four hours of sanctimonious, self-congratulatory debate among our elected protectors of the national morality, the House passed the “Unlawful Internet Gaming Act” by a vote of 317-93. As with any piece of legislation that deals with personal vices, the proposed law is riddled with hypocrisy, illogic, and ulterior motives. Card Player magazine,...

The Sadness of Zidane

In the waning moments of the final overtime period of the World Cup Final, a sporting event that is said to be watched by 1 billion people around our planet, Zenidine Zidane ended his illustrious football career. Earlier in the game, he scored a penalty kick goal for France, the team he captains. Now, with...

In Praise of Lewis Lapham

The venerable editor of Harper’s magazine, Lewis Lapham, recently announced his semi-retirement. The most alarming consequence of this decision is that he plans on writing his monthly “Notebook” essay only six times a year. This is like saying you will henceforth be limited to every other breath of air. Lapham’s essays aren’t merely good reading....

Let Freedom Ring

On this holiday, our national Independence Day, we who cherish the principles and the accomplishments of the world’s freest republic must face the horrible truth: The United States of America, beacon of hope and example to all who would rid the world of oppression and injustice, has lost its standing as the planet’s shining exemplar...

Happy Birthday, Renice Konik

My beautiful mother, Renice Konik, turns 65 today. She’s now officially a senior citizen. I would suggest, however, that if you didn’t have access to her government-issued identification — or a Web page trumpeting the fact — you wouldn’t guess that this vibrant, vivacious lass is eligible for Social Security (and bargain matinees). My mom...

End Times

Despite God’s omniscience, He, apparently, can always use some help in orchestrating His master plan for His earthly kingdom and the wretched sinners that inhabit it. This is why more than a few — tens of thousands — fervent souls are working to bring about the apocalypse sooner than later. As with almost every page...

Eleven Reasons to Love the World Cup

11) Soccer, or “football” as the rest of the world calls it, is truly “the beautiful game.” 10) The entire globe — with possibly the exception of America — caring about something other than oil, money, and religion. 9) The unfamiliar national songs sung, con gusto, in the stands. 8) The uniform colors. 7) The...

The Foul-Mouthed Umpire Redeemed

Yesterday’s paper carried a column by the sportswriter Bill Plaschke about Bruce Froemming, an MLB umpire closing in on the all-time record for most games officiated. Plaschke’s gimmick is to write one sentence paragraphs, as though he were being paid by the inch. Not the word. He’s also well known for essaying sentimental stories that...

Poem: Where I Went Wrong

Some people — OK, what I really mean is me, me, me. Me, who can’t ever pick the best line at the supermarket checkout. Me, who fumbles one love affair into another. Me, who doesn’t dress as well as he might, or get a proper haircut, or read the right books — me. Yes, I’m...