Accepting Suicide

sad teddy bearTo we the living — those of us who rejoice and suffer, work and play, ruminate and act, love and hate, laugh and cry — willfully bringing about a premature end to this absurdly wonderful experience of being alive seems unfathomable. Anyone who would commit suicide, whether because of despair, political conviction, or religious brainwashing, we understand to be more than a little crazy.

All of us at one time or another and with different degrees of intensity feel the downward tug of depression, of the blues. Our malaise, however, eventually ends. Light replaces darkness. And we go on.

But for some unlucky souls, it seems, life remains a permanent eclipse. They feel a constant and inconsolable pain, an unspeakable sadness and hopelessness that those of us immune fromDeath by pill such suffering can’t fathom. Just as the suicidal man can’t feel the joys and pleasures that we the living cherish, we healthy folks (with our normal ups and downs) can’t feel the interminable agony that the suicidal must constantly endure. The most useful question to ask about people who have voluntarily ended their own life isn’t “what could I have done to stop her?” or “what event caused this descent into madness?” but, instead, “what must it be like to believe you will never be delivered from a quotidian hell?”

We who love this incomprehensibly astonishing world will be either resigned or furious to have to say goodbye to it. Until that terrible day, we’ll continue to be happy and sad, content or not. And we’ll understand in varying moments of clarity that we’ve been fortuitously placed in a little slice of mortal heaven. Those who don’t feel likewise, those who can’t wait to leave, must surely be tortured by demons we who aren’t so afflicted can never comprehend.

When those who don’t want or cannot receive help decide they’ve had enough, we must accept their decision, no matter how inscrutable it seems. We must say farewell to those who want only oblivion, and we must continue to revel in our earthly blessings.

You may also like...

2 Responses

  1. Julia says:

    I wish I could share this without receiving a slew of messages from the standard few family members and nosey-not-quite-friends about how precious life is, how there are so many that love me, how could I do that to my kids?, etc. It is hard to explain that constant feeling, and at the same time say, “but I’m still here, so leave me alone.” Even worse is those well meaning folks who tell me all about that one time when they were really sad and they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps with some exercise and fresh air, maybe even some Prozac for a couple months. Useless platitudes. The only thing any of that accomplishes is making me feel even more isolated, and like I must not be trying hard enough. Maybe I am faking it, like some say? Maybe I do really need to just get over it? But what is the thing I’m supposed to get over? When it is a constant state, there is no “thing” to fix. There is only every morning, cursing the fact that I woke up. Spending the day trying to silence that thing in my head that says to give up. Not caring about anyone or anything quite enough to make a difference. But for some reason I make it to bedtime, I resist the urge to take the full bottles of my many meds, and I fall asleep passively hoping it will be the last time. I would like for someone to make sunshine coffee dates with friends make that feeling go away. That would be great.

  2. 網曝最牛縣委書記買超標車調美女陪酒賭毬 情趣舒壓解說1 情趣舒壓 2月30日,網絡上出現一篇名為《中國最牛的縣委書記》的帖子,稱雲南彝良縣委書記曹阜忠大量購買超標車,選調年輕女性到縣委辦陪其喝酒,和礦老板賭毬等 舒壓夢工坊 事,引起網友關注。12月31日,記者聯係上噹事人曹阜忠,曹阜忠稱該事件正在調查12月30日17時40分,網友“彝良縣yiliang”在某知名論壇發表帖子稱,雲南省昭通市彝良縣委書記曹阜忠調到彝良縣後,大量購買60多萬的豐田路霸,噹地領導一共購買了10多輛,且全部上警用牌炤,並發有多張超標汽車炤片。同時,該帖子還 嘉義按摩spa 稱曹阜忠組織一場籃毬賽耗資2000萬元人民幣,選調年輕女性到縣委辦陪其喝酒,和礦老板賭毬等