Author: Michael Konik

Female Problems

The playwright Aristophanes wrote a hit comedy called “Lysistrata.” It’s about all the women in Greece going on a sex strike until all the men agree to stop fighting the Peloponnesian wars. Frustrated husbands walk around onstage with painful erections. It’s funny stuff, if unrealistic. Such a sex strike could never really work. All the...

Chapter Twenty-Six

The business was not how the average person who was not in the business would imagine it. Sheila wouldn’t understand, that was for sure. She never did. Certainly, he hadn’t really understood how it all worked before he became a part of it. People don’t really know what they don’t really know is how he...

Poem: Pimped Out Poetry Slam Five-Sided Story

This is not an insult. This is merely a minor reminder mainly meant to catapult adult minds toward new thinking instead of the usual repeated drinking of the poisoned Kool-Aid propagated by the war-machine cult. At least that’s the expected result!   This is not a jabbing joking jibe. This is not a fleet-footed treatise about...

Brody Stevens: Enjoy it!

Originally a Comedy Central documentary-style series that morphed into an HBO Digital series spearheaded by Zach Galifinakis, “Brody Stevens: Enjoy it!” is simultaneously funny, disturbing, encouraging, entertaining and sort of heartbreaking. “Brody” is Steven Brody Stevens, an eccentric but lovable “comedian’s comedian” who suffers from bi-polar disorder (a diagnosis he ultimatey rejects.) The series, which...

Chapter Twenty-Five

When news of Marty Erndel’s debauched poker game leaked, initially on an Internet celebrity gossip site and subsequently, almost instantly, onto the Web feeds of “legitimate” news organizations, the gentlemen whose lives were about to be ruined dealt with the developing calamity in one of three ways. Peterphile (and others) denied that beneath the Toy...

A Five-Sided Story

This is a reminder, not an insult: There’s no dictionary you could consult, no thesaurus or magic lexicon that describes the Pentagon as a paragon of peace. More like Hollywood and Silicon Valley’s most important ally in convincing the populous that what’s best for us is constant war and mayhem, the lubricating grease on the...

Chapter Twenty-Four

Monroe couldn’t remember what he was supposed to ask Lia about, but he knew it was something important, important enough for him to remember that he had forgotten something. “Damn,” he announced to her back, as she stood at his kitchen counter, slicing a lemon into perfect quarters, “this weed is strong.” “For sure,” Lia...

They’re Lizards

Nothing that’s ever walked, slithered, swum or flown the earth has ever been as intelligent as human beings. We’re the smartest species ever. The things we can do with our brain can’t be done with a sparrow’s brain, or an ant’s. Or even a dolphin’s. They’re clever, sure. And other species can do stuff we...

The Comedy Bureau

The Los Angeles comedy scene is so fertile and frenetic that figuring out which funny person is performing where and when can be frustrating — if you’ve not yet discovered “The Comedy Bureau.” Maven and aficionado Jake Kroeger maintains a reliable calendar of events, a frequently updated comedy-centric newsfeed, and a keen sense of who...

Chapter Twenty-Three

“No, that’s not going to happen right now. I love you. Goodbye,” Lia Chang mumbled into her phone. She shook her head. “No, Monroe. Not at Planetary Pictures. Goodbye. I love you…Because. I told you. Goodbye.” She hung up. Monroe was Lia Chang’s boyfriend. At least that’s how she viewed their relationship. She didn’t envision...