We Didn’t Know

the good life

If, like us, you don’t watch much television and, therefore, effectively shield yourself from the indignities of all the marketing/messaging/propaganda used to sell products and “lifestyles,” when you come face-to-face with the fire-breathing beast, your ignorance of Basic Ideas might take your breath away.

It did ours. We were forced from our hermetically sealed cave not long ago in search of a small piece of hardware for an art project. While wandering through the Avenues of Commerce, we “watched” a little TV during a short wait for expert assistance. Seldom have we felt so stupid.

Like, we didn’t know that the surest way to earn a woman’s adoration, devotion, and abiding love – the kind of love that can be communicated with one radiant smile – is to present her with a sparkly pebble.

We didn’t know that the most comprehensive health crisis – pandemic levels, it seems — facing . . . → Read More: We Didn’t Know

Poem: Let’s Do This

set it up for spliffing

June 21-30: The MICHAELKONIK.com SUMMER POETRY FESTIVAL; A New Poem Every Day!

 

Let’s have a little argument

Let’s have a little tiff

Let’s castigate and conjugate

Instead of light a spliff

 

Our passions stoked, our ire raised

We commence to disagreeing

About cannabis and worshipping

And other ways of seeing

 

Yet all this time, as we yell,

Nothing’s really changed

The noise and clamor honks and swells

An ethos rearranged

 

I ask you now, as a friend

A man who flees a fight

Wouldn’t we be better

Standing in the light?

 

So raise a glass, raise a blunt

Toasting to the air

Celebrate the ones you love

And don’t forget to share

Reefer Gladness in the NFL

NFL Drug Policy

Great timing! The first weekend of NFL football regular season play – and it really is so darn playful the way those boys run around – begins today.

So we couldn’t be more delighted that the National Football League has asked us to help explain why their players – please don’t call them “warriors”; that would demean our heroic mercenaries in the armed forces – should be forbidden from enjoying marijuana. The league is refining its Drug Policy, and they supposedly want some “other points of view,” especially if discussing the NFL’s Drug Policy will distract attention from their brain injury scandal.

Apparently the assistant of someone’s assistant did a Web search and figured out we’d written a thoughtful book on all things weed-related. But apparently they didn’t actually read that book, because here we are, pleasantly buzzed, consulting for an organization, the NFL, . . . → Read More: Reefer Gladness in the NFL

Issues of Character

medal

Here in Los Angeles, we have a mayoral election coming up. The names on the ballot include a handful of community activists and the incumbent, whose name no one can pronounce correctly, so most folks simply call him “the guy who was screwing that cute Mexican TV reporter.” Our current mayor — Antonio Villaraigosa, for the record — has accomplished almost none of his campaign promises involving transportation and education and tree planting, but he’s got enough special interest money flowing in to pay his divorce lawyers in cash, and he’s refusing to debate any of his challengers, because he knows that thanks to the labor unions and real estate developers and digital billboard tycoons, he’s already bought his way into a second-term.

Why, he correctly wonders, why even pretend to participate in the depressing charade that passes for participatory democracy?

Meanwhile, Michael Phelps, Olympic . . . → Read More: Issues of Character

Alcohol Versus Cannabis

beerweed

Everyone has a friend like Tony. He’s the guy who is really cool when he’s straight. He works hard running a small company. He’s a great single dad to his precocious son. He’s funny. He’s smart. He’s a pleasure to be around during the day. At night, however, he likes to drink. Mostly beer, though if it’s another beverage that has alcohol in it he won’t say no. He doesn’t think he has a drinking problem, and maybe he doesn’t.

He doesnt crash his car or blackout on the sidewalk. He doesn’t vomit in public. He can “hold” his liquor. But when he drinks, which is just about every evening, he becomes an aggressive, frightening prick. He gets in bar fights. He gets loud and pushy with women. His speech becomes profane. When Tony drinks, no one wants to be . . . → Read More: Alcohol Versus Cannabis

The Nature of Vice

vice is in the eye of the beholder

Drugs like caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol are legal and more or less woven into the fabric of daily American life. Drugs like cannabis, cocaine, and LSD are not and those who use them are more or less consigned to the squalid fringes of society.

Paying a woman to take off her clothes and display her breasts is legal and the staple entertainment at “Gentlemen’s Club”s from Honolulu to Houston. Paying that same woman to insert those same unclothed breasts into a stranger’s mouth is not and those who would engage in such mischief are hardly considered “gentlemen.”

Playing Bingo in the church basement is legal and a time-honored way to “give back” to the parish. Betting that the Giants will beat the Jets by more than four points is not and those who would wager on such a proposition have the stain of degeneracy upon their character. . . . → Read More: The Nature of Vice