Originally posted January 8th, 2012
By Michael Konik
“Guinnessport,” is not a British drinking game. It’s a new sport/lifestyle choice that fetishizes (and glorifies) obsessive-compulsive behavior. Guinnessport contestants compete to hold the most certified records in the Guinness Book of World Records, including the record for holding the most records (367, at present). Activities like cycling underwater. Carrying a brick in one hand at waist level. Standing on one foot. Clapping.
The top Guinnessport athletes hold more than 100 of these records simultaneously. To accomplish serially and consistently such arduous feats usually requires extensive training periods. As with most athletic pursuits, to be a successful Guinnessportsman means devoting most of your waking hours to nothing but Guinnessport. Your life’s work is to set soon-to-be-broken records.
The cynics among us might be tempted to point out that Guinnessport is a colossal waste of time and energy, and that this maniacal (and egocentric) pursuit of trivial glory . . . → Read More: The Benefit of Benefits
Originally posted July 11th, 2009
By Michael Konik
Anyone who enjoyed a high school or college infatuation with the ideas contained in the popular novels of Ayn Rand knows that characters like John Galt and Howard Roark represent all that is good about capitalism. Their intelligence, determination, and ethics made them heroes — heroes of acquisitiveness passed off as heroes of innovation and progress. Rand, aside from being a master of the potboiler, was one of capitalism’s great apologists, a stirring defender of the indefensible, who masterfully illustrated some of our most treasured nostrums: free markets and free men make the world better for everyone; without an incentive to achieve, everything gets stuck in the socialist muck; it’s a fair game that anyone can play.
How persuasive is she? After devouring her collected works, most people conclude that the only logical, efficient way to organize a society is around the premise of greed. Forget all . . . → Read More: The Morality of Greed
Originally posted July 26th, 2006
By Michael Konik
I saw a beggar (and his dog) on Sunset Boulevard the other day. They — well, the human — were soliciting cash donations for “food” from pedestrians. A well-meaning but foolish fellow threw a few bucks at the doleful couple, thereby cleansing himself of whatever sins he had committed in the name of acquiring his gleaming car and discretionary cash. The donator didn’t care that the money he gave would help ensure that the recipient (and his dog) would be encouraged to stay on the sidewalk, where positive reinforcement from liberal Hollywood residents was easier to come by than honest work. All the rich fellow knew was that he somehow felt a little bit better about having more than the other guy.
Not long ago Bill and Melinda Gates announced that they would be dedicating the bulk of their time to giving away their Microsoft fortune. Famed stock market gambler . . . → Read More: The Charity Enigma
Originally posted August 6th, 2004
By Michael Konik
With very few exceptions, all of us must work. Our jobs, those five-days-a-week responsibilities that earn us the money for food, shelter, clothing, and recreational drugs, allow us to both survive and feel like we’re actuallydoing something with our brief lives. Some jobs pay more than others. Some are dirtier than others. Some are fun and some aren’t. The whole panoply of toiling, however, somehow defines us. We are our work.
I’ve noticed lately that the people who seem most satisfied with their job (and therefore their life) are those who feel as though they’ve given something useful to the world. Teachers, physical therapists, computer programmers — they all make a contribution to the society they live in; they add value to life. Currency traders, professional gamblers, land speculators — their contributions are harder to detect.
The givers, I believe, are essentially happier than the procurers are. Faced with the choice . . . → Read More: Giving to the World
Originally posted February 23rd, 2004
By Michael Konik
A good friend recently read the entire archive of my collected Thoughts of the Day. Like most people, he found himself agreeing with some of my ideas, disagreeing with others, and questioning the rest. He said he liked my Thoughts – but he was troubled by one of the “recurring” themes he detected. “You don’t like charity,” he observed. “But, let’s face it: The easiest way for people with busy lives to help the less fortunate is to write a check and let the charity take care of them.”
How, he wondered, did I propose bettering the world around me if I wasn’t willing to give money to the apparatuses dedicated to such improvements.
Here’s a few ideas:
Teach an illiterate adult to read. Visit a nursing home. Pick up trash and remove graffiti from public places. Welcome disadvantaged youngsters into your workplace. Pay a homeless person a fair wage . . . → Read More: How Can I Help?
Originally posted February 4th, 2004
By Michael Konik
Joan Kroc, the widow of Ray Kroc, founder of the American dining institution MacDonald’s, died a very rich woman. Thanks to sales of Big Macs, deep-fried potatoes, and colored corn syrup in water, she was, in fact, a multi-billionaire. Upon her death last year, Kroc’s executors were pleased to announce that the fast-food heir had left much of her fortune to a number of institutions and charities.
The largest gift û an astonishing $1.5 billion — was reserved for the Salvation Army, the aid-through-prayer organization memorably limned in “Guys and Dolls.” (In the musical, the uptight Ms. Sarah Brown leads the Times Square branch of the “Save a Soul” mission – which, until a lovable gang of professional gamblers encamps there to pay off a bet, is going under from lack of business.) The Salvation Army is the group that around Christmas sets up red giving pots attended by some . . . → Read More: Kroc’s Great Gift
Originally posted January 13th, 2004
By Michael Konik
The 7-11 store in my neighborhood dispenses cigarettes, sodas, chips, hot dogs, coffee, cookies, and most every other snack food that can be fashioned out of partially hydrogenated oil and other trans-fats. This convenience outlet offers most of the noxious poisons people ought to ingest if they wish to slowly kill themselves. Though the products on sale at this emporium (and thousands of others like it in my city) are obviously harmful, there’s always a steady stream of patrons leaving the place with a Big Gulp and a bag of Doritos in hand.
A recurring cast of vagrants occupies the sidewalk outside the 7-11, asking for “spare change.” By now, even the most compassionate Hollywood liberal has come to understand that honoring a bum’s request for money is a terrible idea. Positively reinforcing a negative behavior that none of wishes to condone (i.e., helping someone stay homeless by giving them . . . → Read More: Helping by Hurting
Originally posted December 18th, 2003
By Michael Konik
Giving to the needy is supposed to be a virtue. Indeed, it’s once of the sacraments of most religions. In our venal world, being charitable – sharing with those who don’t have what you have – is akin to secular holiness. How much someone gives to charity is a powerful if imprecise barometer of how good a citizen he is – particularly when he is on trial for corporate malfeasance. Giving to charity is a curiously efficient way to absolve oneself of a multitude of sins.
Professional sports organizations like the PGA Tour, an immensely profitable business based in Florida, generate tens of millions of dollars for charity. The NFL’s chief charity beneficiary, the United Way, banks even more. (Which is useful, since the officers of the United Way must keep fuel in the private jet and fresh wax on the chauffeured Town Car.) A key part of these sports . . . → Read More: Against Charity
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Poet Robert Pinsky. Pianist Laurence Hobgood. Text, music, and the moment -- what we hear on the new POEMJAZZ recording is two giant artists making something greater than the sum of its parts. While Pinsky recites his lovely words with his unlovely (but weirdly attractive) voice, Hobgood, the longtime arranger and accompanist [...]
