Category: Jurisprudence

Demoting a Hero

This is no joke. This is an outrage. One of our real American heroes, Sgt. Robert W. Richards, a Marine sniper, pleaded guilty to “dereliction of duty” and “conduct prejudicial to good order and discipline.” He was demoted to corporal. Lower pay. Fewer stripes. At least he was permitted to keep his retirement health benefits....

An Open Letter to Bradley Manning

Dear Bradley Manning, In a few days, when your show trial ends, you’ll be sent away to a military prison, where you’ll probably spend the rest of your life. Your captors (us, the United States of America) will figure out some reasonable-sounding excuse to keep you in solitary confinement – for his own protection! –...

Poem: Ochocinco

A contrite Chad Johnson apologized for showing disrespect to a judge, a white lady in Florida. The former NFL star best known for a peculiar and unknowable fetish with his own number had slapped his attorney on the ass in court, just as he had slapped countless male asses before in end zones and sideline...

The War on Leakers

Luckily for Barack Obama, news of improper shenanigans at the IRS stole attention from the week’s biggest story: that the President’s Justice Department had secretly seized call information from at least 20 phone lines belonging to Associated Press reporters, including personal cell phones and the main switchboard of the AP’s Washington bureau. While Obama thundered...

Celebrating Our National Sheriff of the Year

The Los Angeles Times needs to stop investigating Sheriff Lee Baca. Instead of undermining our top lawman’s authority with pointless reports about this or that allegation, the newspaper needs to focus on falling crime numbers, fewer accidental deputy shootings, and a measurable (if not statistically significant) percentage drop in gross negligence claims against the Sheriff’s...

Getting Good and Bad Mixed Up

Funny, isn’t it? The way things can get turned around completely backwards so that everything means the opposite? We don’t mean Orwellian doublespeak. We’re talking about common words that don’t seem to have a static definition. Like, say, the word “villain.” Pfc. Bradley Manning was called a villain, among many other pernicious names, in the...

Fewer Police, More Peace

This will sound ridiculous. This will sound a little funny, sort of strange, not quite right. Like one of those “Modest Proposal” type satires we’ve been publishing lately. But this time we’re not kidding, not inverting meanings and uncovering absurdities. We’re serious. Here in Los Angeles – and probably in most major cities – there’s a...

A Modest Proposal For Solving Our Gun Violence Problem

Guns are not the problem. People are not the problem. Young people are the problem. They don’t listen. They play awful video game simulations of mass murder. They shoot six-year-olds. And no amount of background checks or ammo-clip restrictions will change that. There’s only one way to solve the gun situation, one way to bring...

Our 2012 Election Guide

Right. Of course. We get it. Who has time to read? Who has time to read newspapers? Unemployed stoners, for one. We have time to read newspapers – and periodicals and books, as well as all the other stuff that passes for reading these days. We have time to read, and think, and try to...

Little Lies, Big Lies, and American Lies

Representative Paul Broun (R-Ga.) is a member of the House Science, Space and Technology committee, which guides national science policy. His constituents, who elected and re-elected him, are untroubled apparently that Broun rejects science as a legitimate basis for decision-making. Broun has publicly called evolution – and all that we’ve learned about the process –...