Redskins Forever!

washington-redskins-logo

The Washington Redskins have the coolest nickname in all of sports. Their logo – a stone-faced Indian wearing 19th Century feathers – is also pretty awesome.

Here’s how you know the name “Redskins” isn’t a slur against a conquered and marginalized people but is actually a part of the NFL’s long tradition of diversity and inclusion, on and off the field: a league spokesman said, “The intent of the team’s name has always been to present a strong, positive, and respectful image.”

Exactly. It’s not like they’re called the “Injuns,” or the “Savages,” or the “Inferior Race of People Who Couldn’t Stop the White Man’s Invasion.” It’s Redskins, as in the color of skin most of those people have. I mean, look at the helmet! Reddish skin is an honest description. Just like if you had a team of African Masai warriors, you could accurately call them . . . → Read More: Redskins Forever!

Poem: A Brief Autobiography

clitboys_1

The 2014 MichaelKonik.com SUMMER POETRY FESTIVAL, June30-July13. A New Poem Every Morning

 

I was a punk rocker. A real one. Original Midwestern Hardcore Punk Thrash

loud and fast and angry enough to convey the depths of agony

residing in our adolescent breasts, the unspeakable (only screamable) pain

of being trapped like a bear in a sharp leg clamp,

tortured by the knowledge that we were ensnared in a system

we wouldn’t choose except under the threat of torture, and maybe not even then.

Not having a choice: “I want to have high ideals, I want to love mankind,

trust my fellow man, be loving true and kind – but everyone tells me ‘No!’ Everyone tells me

‘No such thing!’” That’s what upset us so in those naïve days before

we figured out how it’s all arranged.

 

For a minute or some decades . . . → Read More: Poem: A Brief Autobiography

Poem: Thumbs

an intimate conversation

Thumbs are what distinguish us

from the less important creatures below us on the chain of food.

Thumbs are why we eat them

and not the other way around.

Maybe this explains our fascination, our absence of humiliation

our willingness to stare and unwillingness to care

for life outside our glowing screens.

Some in the figuringit-all-out business will soon announce

the total triumph of opposition,

of digits doing what dogs cannot.

Others will say something else.

Noise, distortion, clamor, cacophony, a persistent buzz and thrackle.

 

We are amazed delighted liberated by our clever thumbs,

all the poems that they create

flying over keyboards, whose appetite we sate

by pressing here and pushing there,

underlining our aliveness

for emphasis,

for an uplifting reminder

we have thumbs.

Poem: Fantasy Misunderstood

george by the pool

When you announced your sex fantasy to the world

via a connecting platform,

you didn’t know that George – or Brad, or whatever movie star you named – likes to do this certain thing

with his saliva-coated thumb.

Always. Finally, after all the imagining and the longing

this gorgeous man finds you on your hands and knees

with ass tilted up

and your spreading just beginning.

Corking the starfish they call it.

One of your fantasy men also likes forcing women to suck it deeper,

until gagging or tears.

And the other one likes urinating on his conquests.

 

Don’t they know you only wanted to love the beauty, the dazzling glow?

Don’t they know you abhor the grime? Don’t they

understand you want the ineffable tremble maker?

Modern Day Philosophers

modern day philosophers

In the spirit of Lenny Bruce, George Carlin and legions of performing social critics, many modern day comedians see themselves as truth-tellers. Their performance is a kind of philosophizing, a search for meaning in an inscrutable universe. Comedian, improviser, and enlightenment-seeker Danny Lobell‘s podcast “Modern Day Philosophers” is an ingenious hybrid of traditional philosophy — Plato, Hegel, Kant — with “modern day” philosophy, Lobell’s comedian friends. The dual joys of the show are learning (by filling in the gaps in your scholastic reading, or being reminded Who said What) and laughing at the insights, rants, and anecdotes provided by Lobell and his guests, who range in intelligence and erudition from Very Smart to not. Sometimes MDP is clever, sometimes it’s stupid. But the impulse to learn and laugh is omnipresent. It’s our kind of show.

. . . → Read More: Modern Day Philosophers

Poem: The Abiding Benefit of Employing Servants

Jet setters

Employing a staff, you see,

Betters all mankind, not just me.

Look, the man who drives my car

Was born unlucky, not a star

Like me and Angie, Anne and Mike,

All us worthy of your thumbs-up “like.”

 

Meet the girl who cleans my home:

Born unlovely, brownish gnome

With moles unsightly, hair unkempt,

She’s never loved nor even slept

With a charismatic VIP

(Speaking only theoretically).

 

The lesser lights now have work

And I can bear the taunts of “jerk,”

Because, you see, I know the truth.

Three things we covet quite more than youth:

Power, wealth, and celebrity.

Now, don’t you wish that you were me?

Poem: Ordered Correctly

paparazzi  know where to look

Someone famous kissed another girl.

Someone fabulous tripped on a red carpet.

Someone infamous professes shame about her fellatiatic indiscretions.

And someone fantastically sexy is prepared to make “revealing” confessions (on a TV show).

Which is why almost no one will read this poem.

A poem about what doesn’t matter.

Like a country far away without oil.

Exhale with relief.

This arrangement, we’ve all come to understand gradually,

Is the way it ought to be.

Perfectly calibrated.

Ordered correctly.

Terms and Conditions May Apply

tacma logo

Do you agree? Check this box to proceed…after reading several pages of legalese rendered in 6-point type. Didn’t bother? If you care about the increasingly obscure concept of “privacy,” the film “Terms and Conditions May Apply” is mandatory — and frightening — viewing. Director Cullen Hoback carefully examines those “T&C”s that we “agree” to millions of times a day, and shows with chilling clarity how Facebook, Google, Amazon, YouTube, and all our other favorite Interweb sites are knowingly and happily serving as giant data collection centers for themselves and for the government. You may not care now, but one day when your browsing habits become the basis of an FBI visit you’ll look back at this groundbreaking 2013 film and sigh.

Why We Can’t Stop Shooting

it couldn't happen here

COMING SOON…THE 2014 MK.com SUMMER POETRY FESTIVAL, JUNE 21-30!

Since democracy is the best system ever to honor the concept of “innocent before proven guilty,” nearly 300,000 Californians voted for Leland Yee to be our next Secretary of State. His tally came as somewhat of a surprise, considering that Yee had officially dropped out of the race after being indicted on federal bribery and gun-running charges. NRA members, who sensed a brother in harm’s way, may have come to the ballot box in defense of their comrade-in-arms. Or maybe disaffected voters figured that Yee’s recusal made him a kind of rebel, and we all know how sexy that can be. Either way, affecting substantive policy changes at the ballot box is looking about as likely as Team USA winning the 2014 World Cup. Meanwhile, the young bodies keep piling up, like so many carcasses ready for . . . → Read More: Why We Can’t Stop Shooting

Mr. Nobody

Mr. Nobody Poster

The 2009 science-fiction movie “Mr. Nobody” evaded our radar during its initial release. Now it’s on our very slim shelf of films “worth watching again.” Directed by Jaco van Dormael and starring a precociously talented Jared Leto, “Nobody” has a central story — a boy on a train platform who is made to choose between divorcing parents — and a clever conceit — Nemo Nobody is the last living mortal (120 years old) in a society of immortals. But this film’s intense pleasure is in visual, narrative, and philosophical digressions that miraculously lead back to the plot. It’s a work of magnificent imagination and virtuoso technique. “Mr. Nobody” recalls the Coen Brothers at their best.