Poem: Breathe With Me

tantra painting

Breathe with me

in and out together

breathe

what we lovers want

more than

boisterous coitus drowning in moistness

although that’s quite perfect

as far as perfection goes

we can go deeper

inside the loneliness

where we breathe

the solitude of one

Sexy Olympics

athlete butt

Now that the kind and understanding Mullahs of Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Brunei have consented to allow their nation’s second-class citizens to participate, the 2012 Olympic Games are the first ever in which every country’s team includes women.

It’s about time. Some of us have a weird thing for chicks in chadors, especially when they’re shooting air rifles.

The Middle Easterners coming late to the international party have some legitimate concerns. Like marriage, another helpless victim under constant attack from destructive homosexuals, certain helpless institutions must be defended by various legislative Acts. Or athletic bans. Female modesty can’t be adequately protected by swimming suits, leotards, or form-fitting short-shorts.

Seriously. They can’t.

And they shouldn’t be. One of the compelling reasons to watch the Olympics is that most of the athletes, male and female, are beautiful. Their bodies, especially those that have . . . → Read More: Sexy Olympics

Speak the Truth?

fake-freedom

Apologies in advance if this gets all Orwellian right quickly. We try hard not to sound like a nut-job or Coast-to-Coast Radio conspiracy fetishist — is that redundant? — especially when examining the lengths some folks will go to control the lives of others, but this stuff is real, man.

Old George – or, Mr. Eric Blair, if you’re not into the whole brevity thing – coined the term “doublespeak” to describe a fictional phenomenon in his novel 1984. But we repeat: this stuff is real, man.

What’s in among the dictatorial set? The new Hot Trend in authoritarianism is controlling the future by not permitting dangerous thoughts about the future.

The urge to purge cuts across demographic categories. The crazy Muslims are just as wacko as the crazy Christians, and it’s not just benighted foreigners doing the oppressing, it’s benighted domestics, too.

In Morocco, a . . . → Read More: Speak the Truth?

Matters of Public Insertion

CONDOMSAVES

Aside from their protective utility, latex condoms aren’t anyone’s first choice for a sexual accoutrement. Claims to the efficacy of certain “ribbed for her pleasure” varieties notwithstanding, folks use them to prevent pregnancies and transmittable diseases, not because rubbers enhance sex.

Sure, the old putting-it-on-with-your-mouth trick, redolent of European brothels and Asian massage parlors, has its charms, and, yes, condoms come in all sorts of interesting colors (and flavors). Still, those in a relationship that doesn’t require protection (e.g., sterile married couples) would almost never choose to include condoms in their sex life. Compared to “bareback,” condoms are a drag.

The Los Angeles City Council, whose serial acts of legerdemain and thinly concealed larceny could fill many books, has recently given its approval and support to a local ordinance mandating that those who would make adult movies in our city – an impulse which requires a . . . → Read More: Matters of Public Insertion

Gays in the Military

gays_military-749694

Justice has been done! The U.S. Military’s pernicious ongoing discrimination against heterosexuals has been outlawed.

Now it’s all out in the open. Now straight people won’t be the only (majority) group permitted to suffer unimaginable indignities, grievous disfigurement and injuries, and painful death while protecting the business interests of those richer than they. Now straight people won’t be the only victims of propaganda that makes war seem like a really cool video game. With the repeal of the noxious “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, now gays too may be conned into believing they are heroes for sacrificing their lives in overseas police actions that provide security for no one but arms manufacturers, oil producers, and corrupt tribal politicians.

Some of our more courageous Christian brothers and sisters — like the ones brave enough to stand up for God at military funerals, reminding the parents of . . . → Read More: Gays in the Military

Food and Sex

cherrychoc

One is required to live. The other is required to create life. Depending on your appetites, one of them is the best part of being alive. Sometimes they complement each other. Sometimes they’re combined. Sometimes they’re kept in discrete compartments. Every day (if we’re fortunate) we experience one or both.

Food and sex are natural constants that allow the organisms of our planet to survive and flourish. But only food, it seems, is an acceptable subject for unbidden declarations of personal ecstacy. How many times has a friend fairly swooned, her mouth agape in an evocative moan and her eyes rolling back in her head, communicating with anyone within earshot the sublime perfection and intense pleasure of the slice of carrot cake she recently ingested? We moan in concert: Oh my god, that sounds so yummy!

Seldom in polite company will you hear that same . . . → Read More: Food and Sex

A Fun Little Easter Parable

pope-easter-001

Joe is a human being.

Joe is unsure if he is homoseuxal or heterosexual. But like most human beings, he has urges that involve activities other than procreation.

Rather than figure out who he is or what he likes, Joe decides to sublimate his confusing desires, announcing to the world that he is no longer interested in boys or girls. Instead, he is focusing all his love on a long-dead mystic whose radical ideas changed the world.

Joe’s work brings him in contact with many vulnerable and subservient children.

Joe’s “marriage” to the dead mystic, while spiritually fulfliing, does not address the persistent tingling he feels in his scrotum whenever he’s around vulnerable and subservient children.

Joe attempts to strengthen his marriage, reminding himself how much he loves his physically absent friend, and how much he is loved in return, even though that love does . . . → Read More: A Fun Little Easter Parable

The Immorality of Discouraging Contraception

contraception

You may have noticed that people like to have sex, including countless youngsters whose testosterone levels dramatically exceed their intelligence. Everybody’s conception of permissible activity varies somewhat, based on controlling factors that most of us don’t bother to examine. But whether or not you approve of pre-marital sex, or marital sex, or post-marital sex, whether you think people ought to be having more sex or less, the act of copulation is as inevitable and eternal as the sunrise.

Attempting to dissuade or prevent human beings from engaging in one of life’s enduring pleasures is as futile and nonsensical as trying to eliminate the tides. Weird organizations devoted to chastity may certainly try their best to make lustful humans into self-abnegating monks, but they’re fighting millions of years of genetic imperatives, not to mention millions of marketing and popular culture images reinforcing the idea that getting laid . . . → Read More: The Immorality of Discouraging Contraception

The Stigma of Prostitution

lingerie-massage

The fall of the (former) Governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, was a glorious windfall for comedians, political pundits, and connoisseurs of schadenfreude. But lost amid the jeering laughter (and disappointed tears), the competing tendentious agendas, and the grave scholastic commentary was an opportunity for us to collectively ask: what’s wrong with us?

Perhaps we need a moment of thoughtful consideration about why we Americans accept prostitution in virtually every area of adult life, except when it involves a woman’s vagina.

This space has previously suggested that anyone in the abortion debate who claims to be pro-choice, especially on grounds that a woman (and not a bunch of rich and predominantly white old men) ought to have final say over what she does with her body, must logically also support the legalization of prostitution. Curious: few feminists have joined the fight.

For Americans bred on . . . → Read More: The Stigma of Prostitution

Free to Be a Pedophile

jack mc

Orthodox free-speech advocates must be cringing, certain that donations to their nonprofit organizations will slow to a trickle and, eventually, dry up like an extinct lake. What critics have been saying about groups like the American Civil Liberties Union is true: they stick up for the rights of the worst kinds of people, anti-social crackpots who don’t know when to keep their damn mouths shut.

Bad enough those free speech folks defend neo-Nazis parading through Jewish neighborhoods and un-American traitors criticizing the President and his Patriot Act. But the latest outrage to make the news will surely prove what reasonable people have been saying all along: the First Amendment isn’t for everyone.

The apocalypse has come, and his name is Jack McClellan.

He has no arrest or conviction record — not in the United States, anyway — but this 45-year-old transient has inspired fear . . . → Read More: Free to Be a Pedophile