Category: Short & Sweet

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How to Placate a Screaming Child

Have you raised a child? Trained a puppy? Gone through puberty? Then you understand from experience the most intelligent and wise response to a petulant tantrum: give the child the attention he craves; validate his melodramatics; reinforce the idea that if the screaming-crying-barking-saber-rattling is persistent and annoying enough, the screamer will get what he wants. Everyone...

Being More Like Billie

She loves everyone. That’s a good place to start. As the world seems to be getting angrier and crueler by the hour, our 10-month-old puppy, Billie Henrietta Konik, seems to be getting sweeter and kinder. Yes, of course: she’s the cutest, most adorable creature ever, as all dog owners understand about their pet. But what’s impressive...

Resistance Action Plan

How are you resisting? We’ve been asked this question often. How are you resisting “the occupation?” The “fascist state?” Knowing fully how woogie-woogie the answer sounds, we sometimes make a joke about having nothing to resist, what with the current administration’s glaring and obvious kindheartedness, how everything they do is informed by care and compassion. The...

Jersey Limericks

There once lived a man from Secaucus (the part of New Jersey that’s raucous) His house was a dump Befitting a chump Intending to insult and mock us His dream was to live in a tower Symbolic of great phallic power A spire so tall The masses would crawl And grovel and moan and cower...

Why Green?

Because the only war we should be fighting is against Climate Change and our own selfishness and greed. Because the two Money Parties — Republican and Democrat — are cancers on our republic. Because bloodless, consensual revolutions are always better than bloody ones. Because “family values” and the “rights of the unborn” should include future...

Introducing Billie Henrietta Konik

We interrupt our normally scheduled Thought of the Week to introduce you to the newest member of the MichaelKonik.com family: Billie! She’s a 5 month-old shaggy mutt of indeterminate origins. We found her at the Hope Ranch Animal Sanctuary, where she lived communally (and cage-free) with all sorts of other adorable orphans. My wife the...

The Leak You Weren’t Supposed to Hear About

Comb through Wikileaks carefully enough and you’ll stumble over United States Government documents that make you wonder, “Can this possibly be real?” You realize why the people who run our government want to keep their programs secret: when something is so outlandish that it makes the average citizen think “they’re making this up,” it’s probably easier...

A Very Short Thought About Labor

We live in an oligarchy and call it “democracy.” We organize ourselves in a gaffed system of corrupted socialism and call it “free market capitalism.” We send poorly educated victims overseas to die for our war-making industry and call them “heroes.” So it probably should come as no surprise that one day a year we “celebrate”...

Poem: To a Progressive Friend Frightened of Progress

Your righteous race to accumulate Good Karma Requires making love And opposing hate This noble social justice quest cannot carve out exceptions To the covenant Between your values and yourself You cannot advocate for the homeless While cheerleading for the Wall Street Banks that put people out of homes You cannot advocate for Peace While...