Category: Thoughts

Investing

To most people, Michael Konik is a poet-philosopher-essayist-thought-leader who used to be on TV. To the investment community, Michael Konik is King Midas. What Michael Konik touches turns to something better than gold: ROIs in the mid-teens. That’s why venture capital firms throw money at us; that’s why brokerages want our business. On the heels...

K2O2: The Venture Capital Pitch

Good afternoon. Thank you for this opportunity. I know your time in the shark tank is valuable, so I’ll get right to the pitch. We’re seeking start-up capital to launch our premium lifestyle brand of Himalayan air: K2O2. As some of you might know from high school geography, K2 is a very high mountain peak...

Killing With Guns, or Any Other Necessary and Permissible Means

Since we’ve collectively agreed that guns are a necessary part of American life, we’re beginning to collectively accept that a certain number of us, the unfortunate ones, child scholars, must die. It’s the price we pay for the privilege of owning firearms and the bullets they propel. Whether or not you think semi-regular campus/church/Cineplex/school-shootings are...

So You Think You’re an Environmentalist?

Animal agriculture is the leading cause of global climate change and environmental devastation. Fossil fuels are a major contributor, yes, but livestock are actually the chief malefactors in terms of greenhouse gas emissions – and a litany of destructive ancillary effects. Environmental harms associated with the meat industry include deforestation (particularly in the Amazon basin),...

Anything’s Possible

Anything’s possible. And that’s what’s so great about being alive at this particularly time in human history, when we’ve advanced so far beyond our ancestors that their antiquated ways of thinking seem mildly pathetic and our fresh, new ways of thinking are bravely innovative. Evolution has brought us far from our monkey origins. Now we...

Poem: I Learned Today

I learned today Several important things about the world Let’s count that as an epic win While we weep If ignorance is bliss, then knowing must be something else entirely That was not one of the things I learned today   I learned today The Pope from Argentina The one with the nice smile This...

An Open Letter to a Naughty Podcaster

Dear Person Who Shall Remain Nameless in Order to Preserve Whatever Shred of Credibility You Might Still Have Among Your Listeners, Although for years you’ve railed against big banks, multi-national corporations, and the rich (mostly white) folks who benefit from quotidian financial chicanery, when a candidate for President of the United States, Bernie Sanders, recently...

Greatness

There are many paths to greatness. This is one man’s. + Be the son of an already-rich real estate magnate. + Enjoy every advantage commensurate with privilege and nepotism. + Buy your way into the Atlantic City gambling business, where your “customers” are known as losers. + Extract hundreds of millions of dollars in personal...

Immigration, Income, and Making America Great (Again)

Contrary to what Donald J. Trump and his followers claim to believe, immigration is not what’s keeping America from being great (again). If folks who live in Iowa and New Hampshire who are convinced that our national safety rests on the construction of a giant wall between Mexico and what used to be Mexico –...

Zombies Are Blameless, and So Are We

If you voluntarily buy burritos from Chipotle or pay for TV programs owned by Discovery, companies whose CEOs earn 1,000 times more than the average employee they oversee, then you probably don’t have any problem with wealth and income inequality. You’re certainly not going to have a problem with all the other corporations, like, for...