Category: Thoughts

Speak the Truth?

Apologies in advance if this gets all Orwellian right quickly. We try hard not to sound like a nut-job or Coast-to-Coast Radio conspiracy fetishist — is that redundant? — especially when examining the lengths some folks will go to control the lives of others, but this stuff is real, man. Old George – or, Mr....

A Cheap Trick that Might Be Something More

Better than Tristan and Isolde, better than the union of European Nations, the marriage of Form and Content is the zenith of harmonious blending, the devoutly wished for goal of writers and artists and anyone else in the business of making something from nothing — creating, that is — who strive to match message with medium,...

The Grand Illusion

The purpose of life is to work. The purpose of life is to play. Or, there is no purpose to life. These are schools of thought that you may or may not subscribe to. You might have been in one camp and moved to another. You may change your mind every time something good happens...

Poem: Comfort

Does having a certain system, an order of things when I shower, give me comfort? I suppose it does. The sequence is the sacrament. Starting with the shaving cream (the soap in a can that comes out foamy, not creamy in any way except linguistically), left to soak in the bristly beard while other duties are...

An Inspiring Friend

My dearest friend, my wife, is in Africa at the moment, enjoying what we shall delicately refer to as a birthday of significance. Having gone through this getting older thing, I know that it’s easy to get caught up in mathematics – fractions, mostly – figuring what’s gone and what remains. When you arrive at a certain...

Living Large

Prior to the dynasty of Bush the Younger, my chief embarrassment about being an American abroad wasn’t that we were a nation of belligerent, imperialist, arrogant bullies. It was that we were fatties. Among the French and Finnish, Dutch and Danish, American tourists were easy to identify, whether or not they wore fanny packs. The...

On the Death of a Child

A daughter has died. She was also a wife and a mother and a sister. She was 41. She follows to the grave a brother, who died in a car accident when he was 18. What does one say to her parents? How flimsy and impotent words seem in the face of these outrages, when the natural...

To Our Investors

Dear Inverstors in MichaelKonik.com, We’re really sorry about our most recent trading loss. People will say we require more oversight, and, in this case, maybe they’re right. It shouldn’t have happened, and we’ll take steps to make sure it doesn’t happen for a third time. The $4,000 or so ($4,882) of your money that we...

Aphorisms, Epigrams, and Such

The truly wise man aspires to be ignorant. Women who say they prefer chocolate to sex either have bad sex lives or exceptionally great chocolate. Male nipples simultaneously disprove evolution and intelligent design. Marriage is the most reliable curative for hopelessly incurable romantics. People who frequently “need to vent” to friends usually have previously failed to...