Most people are more concerned with money and power than privacy and freedom. Therefore the word “impeachment” was never uttered, not even by the most impolite members of the press.

America’s sense of outrage at the IRS fiasco is misplaced. The real scandal at the IRS is that they allow hundreds – thousands? – of 501 (c)4 non-profit organizations to receive tax-exempt status as “educational” organizations. What these groups really . . . → Read More: The War on Leakers]]> Luckily for Barack Obama, news of improper shenanigans at the IRS stole attention from the week’s biggest story: that the President’s Justice Department had secretly seized call information from at least 20 phone lines belonging to Associated Press reporters, including personal cell phones and the main switchboard of the AP’s Washington bureau. While Obama thundered on about “inexcusable behavior” at the IRS, he said he would “make no apology” for his latest foray into Nixonian dirty tricks.

Most people are more concerned with money and power than privacy and freedom. Therefore the word “impeachment” was never uttered, not even by the most impolite members of the press.

America’s sense of outrage at the IRS fiasco is misplaced. The real scandal at the IRS is that they allow hundreds – thousands? – of 501 (c)4 non-profit organizations to receive tax-exempt status as “educational” organizations. What these groups really do is help politicians bypass election spending laws. As another mechanism for political bribery, they’re great; as society-improvers, not so much. Targeting applications that contained words like “tea party” is exactly the kind of “profiling” that should happen more often – and toward the liberal side, too. They also abuse the tax laws. They also should be “unfairly” targeted.

The press? The people’s representative in the halls of power? They need to be left alone.

On the contrary, the Obama Administration has been conducting a War on Leakers with the kind of executive aggressiveness not seen in Washington since, well, Richard Nixon. It started with Bradley Manning, the heroic Wikileaker. They threw him in solitary confinement and threatened him with life in prison. In an attempt to uncover a confidential source, they seized the personal call and banking records of New York Times reporter James Risen. And five other similar cases have been launched, more than any previous administration. Including Tricky Dicky.

AP executive editor Kathleen Carroll emphasized the breadth of the Justice Department’s actions. “I’ve been in this business for more than thirty years,” she said. “Our First Amendment lawyers, and our lawyers inside the AP, and our CEO, who’s also a well-known First Amendment lawyer, none of us have ever seen anything like this.”

Carl Bernstein, who broke the Nixon Watergate cover-up: “The object of it is to intimidate people who talk to reporters … there’s no excuse for it whatsoever.” He added that it was “nonsense” to say that the White House would have been unaware of such a probe. “This is a policy matter, and this does go to the president,” he said. “There is no reason that a presidency that is interested in a truly free press and its functioning should permit this to happen.”

The rationale, as always since 9/11, is security. Protecting Americans. Keeping us safe.

Jake Tapper, CNN: “That’s what every president says. Every president, whether it’s Nixon with the Pentagon Papers or George W. Bush with the NSA wiretapping story, every president asserts, ‘I’m doing this to keep you safe.’ A lot of people in the public, they say that’s enough, and they believe it, but the truth of the matter is that it’s not enough of an answer in and of itself. That’s why there is Congressional oversight of the executive branch. It’s not enough just to say we’re doing it to keep you safe, because the moment the American people cede that territory, then presidents can do whatever they want.”

Tapper, again: “This administration has used the Espionage Act more times to go after whistleblowers … more than every other administration combined. So this is a very aggressive administration when it comes to squashing freedom of the press.”

Limiting the untrustworthy Eric Holder – who says one thing about medical marijuana and does another, namely kicking down the doors of law-abiding dispensaries – and his renegade Justice Department will serve a long-term benefit to the American people. We need aggressive reporting. We need to know what’s going on. The more we know, the safer we are.

The Obama administration’s mean-spirited retaliatory leak investigations do nothing to further the cause of free public discussion and debate. They intimidate our press. And an intimidated press makes all of us a little less safe.

The garment industry in Bangladesh is euphemistically called “loosely regulated,” so, regrettably, these things (fires and so forth) tend to happen with alarming regularity. An entire building collapsed there not long ago, killing more than 1,000. It’s a delicate balance, isn’t it? Between protecting human life and encouraging business investment? You don’t want thousands of people dying every year in preventable accidents, but on the other hand you don’t want to add a few cents to the price of a finished t-shirt.

It’s only polite to take a moment to recognize the dead Bangladeshis. And it’s terribly impolite to call them “slaves,” since slaves don’t earn $1.80-a-day. Also, unlike slaves these Bangladeshis had a choice! So, . . . → Read More: Mourning the Real Victims of the Bangladesh Garment Factory Disasters]]> News comes from Dhaka, the capital city of Bangladesh, that a disastrous fire swept through a garment factory there, killing eight people. A factory fire in November killed more than 100.

The garment industry in Bangladesh is euphemistically called “loosely regulated,” so, regrettably, these things (fires and so forth) tend to happen with alarming regularity. An entire building collapsed there not long ago, killing more than 1,000. It’s a delicate balance, isn’t it? Between protecting human life and encouraging business investment? You don’t want thousands of people dying every year in preventable accidents, but on the other hand you don’t want to add a few cents to the price of a finished t-shirt.

It’s only polite to take a moment to recognize the dead Bangladeshis. And it’s terribly impolite to call them “slaves,” since slaves don’t earn $1.80-a-day. Also, unlike slaves these Bangladeshis had a choice! So, we hereby recognize and appropriately mourn the workers who perished sewing our jeans. They will be missed.

Very sad. But who’s mourning for the real victims of these horrible Bangladesh disasters? The millions who will be affected by this for years to come?

We are. We’re mourning for those who seem to have been left out of the discussion, as if their needs aren’t important. We’re mourning for the American consumer.

That’s right. There’s only one thing that can come of these horrible garment factory calamities: higher clothing prices.

Governments will get involved. There will be investigations and accusations and handwringing. And eventually the slave masters are going to be forced to upgrade their stitching dungeons to meet “safety codes” and “modern standards.” Legislation might even compel the owners to pay their workers more, including overtime, so a 12-hour day is now going to cost the boss drastically more. (Like, maybe 50-cents more per worker per day. It adds up.) Which all means that until the apparel companies get their operations set up in Malawi or another failed republic, the overall cost of making our clothes in Bangladesh is going to increase.

And you know who pays for that!

This state of affairs seems rather ungracious, even unfair. Why should we suffer? We’re the good guys in this morality tale. By providing the voracious demand for cheap clothing pieced together in faraway lands, we consumers are the ultimate job-creators, the people who give destitute Bangladeshis an opportunity to graduate from begging on the street to living in sustainable poverty. Plus, they get to go home after their 12-hour shift with the satisfaction of knowing that the sweaters they knitted might be worn by someone living the American Dream, the one in which anything’s possible with hard work. That’s got to be inspiring.

So mourn the victims – Bangladeshi and American, direct and indirect. And then pray there aren’t anymore pesky garment factory fires before it’s time to go clothes shopping again.

Neither were we! It’s pretty funny to think of something so obviously good – so amazing, when you think about it – as inherently evil, or something. Bottled water is, like, one of the greatest innovations of the last thirty years. Before bottled water was introduced in the marketplace, people had to drink out of taps, or “water fountains.” (This water was more or less free, but, hey, you get what you pay for.) Instead of having a conveniently disposable plastic bottle, people used to have to drink out of cups and thermoses and such, which, you can imagine, was very inconvenient.

Bottled water = convenient. And if that’s not a good enough reason to embrace a life-improving product, we can’t think of a better one.

After the Boston Marathon bombs, there might be another reason worth considering, a reason that some unpatriotic thinkers have been suggesting since September 11, 2001.

Maybe terrorists don’t hate our freedoms. Maybe they hate our policies.

The surviving suspect in Boston indicated that his brother and he were outraged at U.S. involvement in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. Other captured evildoers have indicated . . . → Read More: Why Terrorists Hate America]]> The commonly understood reason why terrorists wish to kill and maim Americans is because they hate our freedoms. That’s what’s behind all the civilian violence: they hate our freedoms. You can go ahead and enumerate all the freedoms the terrorists hate, but it doesn’t really matter which ones –freedom to assemble publicly with unmarried members of the opposite sex; freedom to participate in an electoral charade; freedom to watch nudity on television. The very concept of freedom is an affront to these heartless killers.

After the Boston Marathon bombs, there might be another reason worth considering, a reason that some unpatriotic thinkers have been suggesting since September 11, 2001.

Maybe terrorists don’t hate our freedoms. Maybe they hate our policies.

The surviving suspect in Boston indicated that his brother and he were outraged at U.S. involvement in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. Other captured evildoers have indicated that their terrorism was inspired by America’s constant meddling in the Arab world and beyond.

We can no longer ask ourselves, “What is it that these terrorists really want?” We know what they want. The question now is, “Knowing what they want, how are we going to behave?”

The smart money says: “as we please.” As we always have, acting our customary role of the arrogantly swaggering bully, the superpower who will not and cannot be told what to do. This will lead to more violence. That’s for certain. But, hey, what are you going to do? Let some camel jockey with a Koran tell America what’s up? That’s not going to happen for reasons that should be obvious. No one bosses the USA around, not even the people who own oil fields, and certainly not some radicalized jihadi with a pressure cooker and a bucket of nails.Plus, you know what happens when you give in to terrorists, when you negotiate with them, or capitulate to their demands: they’re never satisfied. Even if we agreed to help them wipe Israel off the map and establish a thriving Palestinian state, they still wouldn’t be happy. That’s the way these terrorists are: constantly unhappy and dissatisfied. Nothing cheers them, except when Americans suffer.

So they want something. We’re not about to give it to them. They’re going to terrorize us with homemade explosives and suicide pilots and what have you. We will punish the bad guys, perhaps even torture them. But others will take their place, continuing with the unreasonable hatred of our policies, which will lead them to additional acts of terrorism. Which will accomplish nothing, because you don’t negotiate with a terrorist, particularly when there’s nothing to discuss.

Since we’re not about to change our policies – at least not in reaction to terrorist attacks – we have two choices: 1) accept regular and devastating terrorist attacks against Americans, or, 2) kill all the terrorists before they can kill us.

What’s it going to be? The value-conscious will point out that our nuclear warheads are already bought and paid for; we might as well use them before some treaty outlaws them. The pragmatic will point out that the TSA and other branches of Homeland Security (but particularly the highly professional screeners at the airport) have done a stellar job of protecting us from harm. The optimistic will point out that once-a-superpower doesn’t necessarily mean “never-again-a-superpower.” We can do it!

Or – and this is admittedly absurd, almost comical – we could reexamine our policies.

We’re betting on more violence.

Born to the manor these two fine brothers,

Whose servants sheltered them from feeling sad,

Or foolishly acting too kindly to others.

Natural twins from the start, they twinned all through life,

The Harvard® and clerkships and China Bank™.

Jason got married; George needed a wife

To double the wedding and stay equal in rank.

Being a Barclay is grand, oh so grand!

Being a Barclay is grand, oh so grand!

Being a Barclay – well, you can’t understand.

How Georgie and Jason achieved to the utmost!

Their lust subject to polite conjecture:

Jetting to Spain, enjoying a slut host,

Eager to hear the twins’ austerity lectures?

With work and connections they hatched a large fortune

To add to the one they already had.

More loot . . . → Read More: The Ballad of the Barclay Boys]]> Oh, what a glorious life my uncles have had!

Born to the manor these two fine brothers,

Whose servants sheltered them from feeling sad,

Or foolishly acting too kindly to others.

Natural twins from the start, they twinned all through life,

The Harvard® and clerkships and China Bank™.

Jason got married; George needed a wife

To double the wedding and stay equal in rank.

Being a Barclay is grand, oh so grand!

Being a Barclay is grand, oh so grand!

Being a Barclay – well, you can’t understand.

How Georgie and Jason achieved to the utmost!

Their lust subject to polite conjecture:

Jetting to Spain, enjoying a slut host,

Eager to hear the twins’ austerity lectures?

With work and connections they hatched a large fortune

To add to the one they already had.

More loot to the pile! Ask, importune,

Whine, beg: All for investors in Islamabad.

Each boy has his plane, and girls, as well as a boat,

Mansion in Cabo, vineyard in Bordeaux,

A thoroughbred horse, an alpaca goat

Possessed for the purpose of conspicuous show.

Being a Barclay is grand, oh so grand!

Being a Barclay is grand, oh so grand!

Being a Barclay – well, you can’t understand.

Now that Jason is a Prez and George is a Vice

They manage a bank that owns half the globe,

Investing in nations naughty and nice –

Oblivious twins missing bits of frontal lobe.

How could they know they carry a noxious disease

Deeply embedded in genetic code?

How could they live and not do as they please?

Sharing (or caring) was never their default mode.

A sick brain at work is what this song is about,

A mind that’s made up on all the key points.

An outlook devoid of worry or doubt.

As inflexible and stiff as arthritic joints.

Oh, yes, now strong medicine is coming their way

They’re going to get the miracle cure

Bid farewell, Jason and Georgie Barclay

To help us make our world sufficiently pure.

Hollywood Boulevard is nearby. We walk on its sidewalks almost every day, often to access the subway, which serves our neighborhood with a Hollywood & Highland stop. If you’ve not been to Hollywood & Highland, picture a summer-stock version of Times Square, with fewer lights, people and energy, but the same frantically commercial vibe, the same “souvenirs are mandatory” ethos.

The “Walk of Fame,” a sidewalk with inlaid pentagrams and the name of someone famous or formerly so, has a high weirdness-to-cheesiness ratio. But at certain spots, such as where Stevie Wonder’s star touches Miles Davis’s – right near that venerable Hollywood landmark Buffalo Wild Wings – you’d swear universal harmonic convergences are possible.

Mostly, though, . . . → Read More: Hooray for Hollywood (Boulevard)]]> The whole world is worried about North Korea. We’re not. We think locally. The area around which we can walk or ride our bike is our concern. We’re civic-minded that way.

Hollywood Boulevard is nearby. We walk on its sidewalks almost every day, often to access the subway, which serves our neighborhood with a Hollywood & Highland stop. If you’ve not been to Hollywood & Highland, picture a summer-stock version of Times Square, with fewer lights, people and energy, but the same frantically commercial vibe, the same “souvenirs are mandatory” ethos.

The “Walk of Fame,” a sidewalk with inlaid pentagrams and the name of someone famous or formerly so, has a high weirdness-to-cheesiness ratio. But at certain spots, such as where Stevie Wonder’s star touches Miles Davis’s – right near that venerable Hollywood landmark Buffalo Wild Wings – you’d swear universal harmonic convergences are possible.

Mostly, though, the trek from Hollywood & La Brea to Hollywood & Highland, is growing more dismal by the week. There are plenty of world famous attractions in this stretch: the Chinese Theater, the Dolby (nee Kodak) Theater, the El Capitan theater next door to the Jimmy Kimmel Show, as well as the compulsory wax museum and Hard Rock Café. There are plenty of happy tourists, with cameras and money and some very funny misconceptions about what actually happens in Hollywood.

Unfortunately, there are also hordes of opportunists on the prowl, hoping to engage with the tourists’ cameras and money. These folks aren’t pickpockets or swindlers. They’re merely hustlers trying to do the Hollywood hustle.

We’ve got a message for them, every single one of them who works Hollywood Boulevard: Ya’ll need to step up your game. Big time. You’re making us residents of Hollywood look bad to the Australians and Germans and Japanese of the world. Here’s our unsolicited counsel…

CHARACTER IMPERSONATORS: We understand. For the right kind of person, getting to stand around all day in a complete Batman outfit is its own reward; snagging a buck or two from tourists in exchange for snapshot posing is just an added bonus. That’s cool. But, please, superhero portrayers, we beseech you: exercise regularly, eat well, and cut your body fat in half – then put on the tights and cape. If you’re a Catwoman or Supergirl, same request; also, please do not wear outfits that emphasize your lack of voluptuousness or excess of belly flab. And do we really need three of everything? Three Johnny Depps, OK, we get that. But three spidermen? All balanced on trash bins and light poles? You’re confusing the children. Speaking of which, Tickle Me Elmo man: time to find a new hero.

MUSICAL BUSKERS: Scratching out three guitar chords is a start. But you’re performing on the sidewalk only steps away from where they broadcast the American Idol final. This is Hollywood, Jack. If you can’t really sing and can’t really play your instrument, please don’t bring down the world’s image of us. Make way for those who are genuinely committed to their craft, like the Jimi Hendrix impersonator guy.

SNAKE & BIRD GUY: Why? This is the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Imprisoned parrots don’t fit into the whole glamour of showbiz thing. Return your animals to the wild, put on a superhero cape and get busy.

“RECORDING ARTISTS”: We appreciate the determination and moxie it must take to home-burn copies of your jam onto Staples re-writables and attempt to “sell” them to confused foreigners by placing CDs in their hands. You’re go-getters, and proud we are of all of you. But no matter what Tim Sweeney or some other creative marketing guru taught you, extorting strangers is not a winning strategy for a long-term music career.

$5 SALE ARMY: Nice sign-twirling. Nice purple shirts. Nice sense of urgency – which we assume comes organically, from a genuine sense of excitement about the big sale! All the merchandise in your store is half-off today! We’ll make you a deal, $5 Army, we’ll gladly visit the $10 Boutique’s fabulous menagerie of made-in-China mementos when someone can answer two questions: When did the 50%-off sale begin, and when will it end? Exactly. Never and never. When you change the store’s name to the $5 Boutique, we’ll talk.