Memorial Day Apology
Monday is Memorial Day. Automobile races and ball games happen, sure. But Memorial Day is mostly set aside for solemn remembrance of the brave heroes who lost (gave?) their lives to the United States military so the rest of us can enjoy all the benefits of being citizens of the greatest country on Earth.
We remember the soldiers who perished in support of our values, the American Way of Life, you could call it. That thing, we’re told, that all our enemies vehemently despise.
We keep in our hearts all the courageous young men and women who were killed in just and righteous wars that kept our homeland safe – wars like Iraq and Vietnam, and Afghanistan.
We couldn’t be this magnificent republic without sacrifices, and so we also remember the heroic military dead who helped put down Indian rebellions and discovered the usefulness of waterboarding against the Philippines.
Like everyone else seeking public office (or compliant nodding), of course we support the troops. On Memorial Day, the point is to support the troops with even more vigor, a protracted period of prayerfulness. We who have so much. How did we get it? How do we keep it? Meditate on it. You’ll come to the answer: the troops. Let’s all agree: the troops are what makes America great. Even in those rare times when we may not necessarily agree with the decisions rendered by their “superiors” in Washington, D.C., we always support the troops. It would by hypocritical not to. Without uniformed representatives willing to die in order to settle a disagreement over something, how else can we insure the economy won’t crash? America’s interests – our businesses and the commodities they require – demand protection. Finding enough fearless warriors to staff 1,000 overseas military bases might seem daunting until you consider what most recent high school graduates already know: someone has to protect the supply chain, and it’s slightly better resume material than living at home with mom and dad while you scrape up the admission fee for technical college.
So let’s all take a moment of silence to memorialize everyone who bled to death or was decapitated or incinerated. During that moment, let’s breathe deeply and consider what amazing and glorious things about America made each of their deaths profoundly worth it.
Once more, we say: Thank you, soldiers. We apologize.