Pizza Protest

Finally, what many of us long suspected has been categorically confirmed. No, not that the Democratic primary was rigged by the Clintons and their vassals at the DNC, rendering the millions of us who contributed to and volunteered for Bernie Sanders into suckers at a carnival midway trying to knock down milk bottles nailed to the ground. That’s been known for some time.

What was confirmed and clarified and reiterated was that the social justice concerns of black people are not exactly irrelevant, but they’re not exactly legitimate and urgent, either. Societal “problems” such as police killing black people without cause are actually far less important than a litany of other more pressing issues. Such as pizza sales. And TV ratings.

Such as public displays of fake patriotism.

Such as transforming poorly paid mercenaries serving at the behest of corporations into National Heroes who “keep us free.”

The owner of Papa John’s pizza, who lives on a feudal estate paid for with fabulous profits earned from selling unhealthy food manufactured by underpaid servants, called out his business partner, the NFL, for a “failure of leadership” on the anthem protest issue.  His statement read – and we’re translating it here from the original code – “If the NFL can’t control its uppity negroes and get them to unquestioningly do what they’re told, like a good soldier or policeman, then we’ll take our advertising dollars elsewhere.”

What Papa’s statement didn’t say was that the protesting players have a point. (He also didn’t call for a national reexamination of our relationship with firearms.)

Because, really, as our capitalist system eats itself to death, blacks treated as second-class citizens – well, it isn’t really the main thing. It’s not what we non-blacks ought to focus on.

We’re sending our thoughts and prayers to the shareholders and executives of the pizza chain (and all the other fast-food franchises that are big net positive to the United States). We’re hopeful that the players and their wardens/owners can get on the same page. Perhaps instead of kneeling, players and owners can continue to stand with arms locked, sending a powerfully ambiguous message that, despite endemic racial injustice, we’re all perfectly unified and in agreement. Perhaps they can just, you know, complain on their own time.

Because America will be a lot better off when we can have our football and pizza and fake patriotism without rude reminders of an ongoing national disgrace.

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