Tagged: a modest proposal

What Has 2014 Wrought?

There once was a magic crystal ball that “fell” to Times Square on the stroke of Midnight. When the magic ball dropped, 2013 changed into 2014. And suddenly everything was different. Well, not everything. Orwellian doublespeak was still flourishing. Time Warner was still telling their customers that an impending 18% price increase was in fact...

Muzzle the Bums!

The government shutdown didn’t last long enough last week to stop a federal judge from overturning an Arizona anti-begging law. He said it was unconstitutional. He said it infringed on the “free speech” rights of beggars. Since when do beggars have rights? (We already know they don’t have choices, since beggars can’t be choosers.) The...

Sharing, Caring, Giving

Thanks to our good looks, superior intelligence, and unimaginable privilege, we’re rich! Do you know how much calla lilies cost at a reputable flower purveyor? We’ve got hundreds of them in our garden. Blood oranges? Also hundreds. We can’t eat them all, so we give them away. Same thing with our money. Since we’re into...

Celebrating Our National Sheriff of the Year

The Los Angeles Times needs to stop investigating Sheriff Lee Baca. Instead of undermining our top lawman’s authority with pointless reports about this or that allegation, the newspaper needs to focus on falling crime numbers, fewer accidental deputy shootings, and a measurable (if not statistically significant) percentage drop in gross negligence claims against the Sheriff’s...

Very Short Books

Books are far too long, right? Who has time for 300-pages of blabbering on about nothing? Do you know how many tweets you can read in the amount of time it takes to slog through one stupid novel? A lot. And they’re usually way funnier. And unlike books they’ve got hashtags, like #betterthanactuallyreading. Still, in...

A Modest Proposal to Solve Our Oil Problem

This morning the DJ on the local jazz station delivered a comic lament on the trauma of paying $3 for a gallon of gasoline. He recalled that a few months ago the price had fallen to nearly $2 per gallon, but in recent weeks it had eclipsed the psychologically troubling threshold of three, and he...