Tagged: china

Our President’s Version of American Values

Dear President Bush?, It’s 2011. You’re still in office? You’ve done a lot of bad stuff during your tenure, which is why a small majority of Americans are willing to vote for someone from the Other party, the one that is all socialist and everything. But no matter how much you disgrace science and encourage...

Next in Line at the Latrine

For much of the nation’s existence, India has either been colonized by its European superiors or shackled with cuffs of poverty. Until recently, the average Indian endured squalor and neediness unimaginable to those of us who expend our excess calories at cardio-striptease classes. Even now, as viewers of the urban fairy tale “Slumdog Millionaire” note...

Newton’s Law

My Dad, who was notorious for repeating useful nostrums as though they were Gospel, had a limited but effective collection of epigrams he liked to trot out whenever his boys required illuminating instruction. Some of these Rules to Live By were gleaned from his formative years in the Marine Corp, where he learned essential truths,...

A Modest Proposal for World Peace

The international furor surrounding North Korea’s underground detonation of a nuclear bomb reminds us that several nations on our planet have the ability to obliterate all the others. Hooray for us, we’re one of them! The outrage at Kim Jong Il’s putative procurement of weapons of mass destruction isn’t because he’s starved his country to...

Learning from Piracy

In a gesture of international goodwill — and because there’s a big trade meeting coming up — the Chinese government recently shut down an enormous bazaar in Shanghai that exclusively offered counterfeit goods. Merchants and shoppers admitted to reporters that the closure would be momentarily inconvenient but that the bazaar would soon move to another...

The Endless Empire

According to demographers who are supposed to know about such things, by the year 2050 whites will no longer be the majority in the United States of America. Latinos and Asians will be. Unless our country is willing to practice a low-grade form of Apartheid, these former minorities will likely possess the kind of economic...