Tagged: humorous essay by michael konik

Attention All Media: I’m Doing Something Idiotic!

I’ve been doing it all wrong, trying to get folks to talk about and desire my quirky, difficult-to-categorize books, trying to get the media’s attention.  Recent events have demonstrated the truth about how things really work. I’ve got a new book out in 4 weeks about marijuana. It’s called “Reefer Gladness,” and I want everyone...

No Free Parking

The idea behind Congestion Pricing is to charge people more to use things — city streets, toll roads, cellphones — during peak times. By raising the cost you reduce demand, freeing up more space. And if demand stays constant you earn higher revenue and then raise the price some more. Such programs are in place...

Michael’s Sharing Manifesto

Like many of my friends, my pal Mommy S likes to visit a place in Hollywood we call The Farm. It’s a small garden, actually, where our dear buddy M plants his organic fruit, vegetables, and weed. She enjoys hanging with her gorgeous toddler son in the garden, absorbing the gentle vibrations of life. Mommy...

Why I Wrote “Reefer Gladness”

My new book, coming out in a couple of months, is about marijuana. Fans of my gambling and golf and dog books have been wondering what gives. Why this? Aside from not wanting to repeat myself, I sought a subject that’s moving to the forefront of our ongoing cultural conversation, a subject about which people...

Boycott!

Everybody is angry at the Gulf oil spill. Everybody is angry at BP. As an expression of that rage, and to punish the callous corporation for its carelessness, calls are circulating to boycott the company for a day, or a week or forever.  Boycotting BP would be mildly amusing, if utterly irrelevant. But anyone who...

Australia Going to Hell

When Julia Gillard became Australia’s first female prime minister last week she quickly earned international headlines (and a congratulatory call from President Obama). Being a woman was the easy part. Gillard overcame an obstacle far more troublesome than her gender: She doesn’t believe in God.  “No, I don’t,” she told an interviewer at Australia’s national...

Three Theories on Chronic Lateness

Everyone is late sometimes. Stuff happens. Some of us, though, are always late. For everything. “Traffic” isn’t an adequate excuse when you’re late for events in your own home, or when you’re the headliner of a concert scheduled to hit at 8PM and you roll in, unflustered, at 8:45PM. There’s an underlying reason. We propose...

Your Duty As a Responsible Citizen

Responsible citizens vote. In some European countries citizens are required by law to vote. Many — most — American’s don’t vote. The more one witnesses the awesome power of corporate TV ads, the more one suspects non-voting Americans might not be such a bad thing.  On June 8th, Californians will vote on party primaries and...

Suckers!

Casinos have a term for their customers. It’s not nice, so the term isn’t used in polite company. But the folks who give away their money at slot machines and dice tables and roulette wheels, the folks who tote around their Player’s Card and receive complimentary buffets and tickets to the magic show, are affectionately...

Super Thoughts, One for Each Quarter of the Big Game

1. The angry folks at Focus on the Family bought a Super Bowl advertisement meant to illustrate what a big mistake abortion is. They enlisted college football superstar and possibly closeted gay religious zealot Tim Tebow to communicate how terrible it would have been for his mom, doing missionary work in the Philippines and carrying...