Tagged: humorous essay by michael konik

“Great!” My New Satire of America

Excerpted from “How the Revolution Started: Essays and Impertinent Thoughts.” I’ve started writing a new book, a broad satire of American Values. Working title: “Great!” Some will find my portrait of a country gone off the rails a bit dark, the comedy too black, the irony too on-the-nose. But in times like these, when a megalomaniac...

How the State Trooper Explains Standing Rock to His Child

EXCERPTED FROM “How The Revolution Started: Essays & Impertinent Thoughts “(Eggy Press). “Daddy!” “Welcome home from school, honey. How was your day, little girl? Did you learn a lot in Fourth Grade?” “Yes, Daddy. I did.” “Like?” “Our teacher talked about the savages who were living here way back when before normal Americans discovered America....

A Tale of Two Sillies

We have two friends who don’t know each other and couldn’t be more unlike. One identifies as a “progressive” concerned with social, economic and environmental justice. The other identifies as a capitalist-libertarian concerned with immigration and security. The second friend, call him “S,” has been  a vocal supporter of Donald Trump from the start of...

Homeless Problem Fantasia

What if – and we know this is far-fetched and vaguely absurd – what if every person in Los Angeles who has the means and the space were to “adopt” a non-violent, non-alcoholic, perfectly harmless homeless person, giving that man or woman (or family?) a place to sleep and bathe that’s not a freeway underpass? What...

At Dodger Stadium

You attend a baseball game once-a-year. You don’t follow the sport or the players. Long ago, when you were a boy, you were a true fan who knew all the statistics and the nicknames, the characters and the storylines. These days, you’re only vaguely aware of who’s starting for the Los Angeles Dodgers, and even...

Evening News Script

Good evening, I’m [insert name]. Welcome to the Evening News. Our top story tonight: [something to fear; followed by expert analysis explaining why viewers should be fearful]. In other news: [something to fear]. In a related story: [something else to possibly fear in the near future]. Commercial break: [insert advertisement for a pharmaceutical product; followed...

Shiva Singh-Schlimovitz Knows Best

Go to her official site. Right there on the Home Page: “I may not know how to pick husbands, but I know what’s best for our country! I think she’s being funny? #irony Facts: The marriages. She’s had three of them, so far. None of these husbands has lasted longer than two years. Kept first-husband’s...

Elizabeth Warren vs. Hillary Clinton

Liberal acquaintances who support the candidacy of Hillary Clinton – friend of Wall Street, friend of the Private Prison industry, friend of the War Machine – admit that they’re much more enthusiastic about voting for the maverick progressive muckraker from Massachusetts, Senator Elizabeth Warren. Unfortunately, she’s not running for President. Actually, she kind of is...

Harmonizing Every Thread

Five jazz musicians walk into the living room of our house, the music room. They’re getting ready for a gig the following night at an area college. A concert. They each bring their own vibration to the rehearsal, their individual tone. Some cats are lighter and some are darker than others. Some project calm and...

Our Binary Democracy

Multiple-choice decisions can be intimidating. A panoply of options forces you to think about stuff, and that’s tiring. How much easier, instead, to make a simple call between “A” and “B,” between the favorite and the underdog, between chicken and beef, Staples and Office Depot. Same deal with our current version of democracy. After all...