Tagged: humorous essay

Greatness

There are many paths to greatness. This is one man’s. + Be the son of an already-rich real estate magnate. + Enjoy every advantage commensurate with privilege and nepotism. + Buy your way into the Atlantic City gambling business, where your “customers” are known as losers. + Extract hundreds of millions of dollars in personal...

Immigration, Income, and Making America Great (Again)

EXCERPTED FROM “How The Revolution Started: Essays & Impertinent Thoughts “(Eggy Press). Contrary to what Donald J. Trump and his followers claim to believe, immigration is not what’s keeping America from being great (again). If folks who live in Iowa and New Hampshire who are convinced that our national safety rests on the construction of...

Every Man Has a Price

Here’s a list of several countries: Saudi Arabia, Russia, China, and the United Arab Emirates. What do they all have in common – besides being among the worst human rights offenders on the planet? Their enthusiastic embrace of American values? Their love of liberty and freedom of speech? Here’s a list of several financial institutions:...

Making Deals With the Enemy

How low has the United States of America sunk? We’re in the process of negotiating a nuclear deal with Iran. Yes, negotiating, like, talking with. Iran. Yes, that Iran. The country that once held Americans hostage. The country that fought against Saddam Hussein back when we liked him. The country that arms Hezbollah and Hamas....

The Day After the Revolution

EXCERPTED FROM “How The Revolution Started: Essays & Impertinent Thoughts “(Eggy Press). …and to conclude, the Truth and Reconciliation Commission makes the following findings and recommendations. + Capitalism has been an interesting experiment which has now ended. We must identify a better organizing principle than greed. + Those who have aspired to the crimes of...

Memorial Day Apology

Monday is Memorial Day. Automobile races and ball games happen, sure. But Memorial Day is mostly set aside for solemn remembrance of the brave heroes who lost (gave?) their lives to the United States military so the rest of us can enjoy all the benefits of being citizens of the greatest country on Earth. We...

Leadership Litmus Test for White Boys Who R Considering Voting for Hillary When the Rainbow Coalition Isn’t Enuf

Some of our more famously progressive friends — those who self-identify as conscious, liberal, rights-minded pacifists, including “smartest man in the world” comedian Greg Proops – are presently in a political pickle. They’ve pre-declared themselves as Soldiers for Hillary, despite so many stains upon her record you might be persuaded that she was a key...

Compassion for the Cops

Everyone is all upset about the latest killing of an unarmed black man by a white police officer. This one was caught on video, so it’s going to be a little harder to explain to a jury why the shooting was justified, especially since the dead man was shot in the back as he fled....

They’re Lizards

Nothing that’s ever walked, slithered, swum or flown the earth has ever been as intelligent as human beings. We’re the smartest species ever. The things we can do with our brain can’t be done with a sparrow’s brain, or an ant’s. Or even a dolphin’s. They’re clever, sure. And other species can do stuff we...