Tagged: michael konik essay

Voter Guide for the Lazy and Disgusted

If a candidate pledged to legalize drugs and prostitution, end imprisonment of all but the violent, rig the financial system to operate in reverse (making the rich get poorer and the poor get richer), slash military spending by at least 50% and then repatriate all the brave men and women currently stationed overseas protecting American...

Deluded Warriors

Isn’t it hilarious how those crazy Islamic terrorists brainwash young recruits, transforming them from disillusioned urchins with no hope of bettering their miserable life into heartless suicide bombers doing “God’s work”? The boys are promised martyrdom and dozens of virgin lovers waiting for them in the hereafter. By killing as many of the enemy as...

Pavlov’s Dogs

On a recent trip to Madagascar in search of wildlife in its natural habitat, we visited the magnificent Andasibe National Park, where a dozen species of lemur monkeys found nowhere else in the world make their home in the forest canopy. Viewing sifaka (“dancing lemurs”) normally seen only in captivity cavorting in the wild, leaping...

We Don’t Negotiate With Terrorists

The Enemy Who Hates Our Freedoms has gotten unruly, crossing borders dreamed up by imperial empires. Impudent weeds with AK-47s and machetes impertinently raise their masked heads, taunting, braying, slashing American throats and luring the big bad bully into yet another unwinnable war. It’s time to mow the grass. Here we go. Again. It’s been...

More Work, Less Money = Progress

EXCERPTED FROM “How The Revolution Started: Essays & Impertinent Thoughts “(Eggy Press). This year the United States economy recovered all of the jobs lost during the great Wall Street Recession. But here’s the even better news: The newly created jobs pay an average of 23% less than the ones lost in the “downsizing.” According to...

Honoring Our Laborers

As we make final preparations for the most solemn American holiday, Labor Day, our mind turns to ways that we, and perhaps all of us, can make Monday’s national celebration of workers into a perfect expression of how we all really feel about laborers. Vegas, baby! Disneyland? Another less exalted way of honoring those of...

News Quiz

Who said what? “This act of violence shocks the conscience of the world.” A) Eric Holder, on the Boston Marathon bombing. B) Reverend Al Sharpton, on the slaying of another unarmed black man by American police. C) Prime Minister David Cameron, on the downing of Malaysian Air #17. D) None of the above.   “They...

Encouraging Suicide Note

I’m hoping something good will come of my early exit. So it won’t have been a big waste. I’m optimistic, but I’m also realistic. Jesus Christ died for all our sins yet we find increasingly perverse ways to thank him and his Father. He just wanted us to love each other. That’s the challenging part...

Israel’s Final Solution

Enough already. We’re sick and tired of hearing about the conflict in Gaza, especially when there’s a new turtle movie coming out. Sure, our tax dollars pay for Israeli and Egyptian weaponry, and, yeah, OK, that sort of makes us involved. But, really, what does this decades-old grudge match have to do with us here...

Religious Champions of Discrimination

America’s religious leaders, some of the most esteemed and respectable citizens in our republic, are helping us understand that our precious freedoms — the ones our brave soldiers fight and die for in faraway dust bowls most of us can’t find on a map — are once again under attack. This time the perpetrator isn’t...