Tagged: Michael Konik

Poem: Flowering Trees

Standing sentry beside the unblemished avenues of the upper-class fortresses which line Beverly Hills and Bel-Air and all the other places where winners live and those who Have not Discovered the magic formula May not reside, The lilacs and myrtles and jacarandi Burst forth Insistently. Proudly. Defiantly. Like hundreds of gravity-defying breasts, announcing to the...

Airport Security

News of an evil terrorist plot to blow up airplanes en route to America from London with liquid explosives smuggled onboard has inspired a new set of enhanced security regulations at our airports. Passengers must now place all liquids and gels in their checked luggage. Items such as shampoo, contact lens solution, and toothpaste must...

Poem: The Promised Land

Each side, wholly convinced of its birthright and More importantly The illegitimacy of its foe Has found a reason to live. Now Kasseem and Michael, Abdul and Eli, and all their friends and neighbors know why it is they arise In the morning. There is sacred land to be defended, no matter how denuded and...

Bravo, Connecticut: Joe, Ned, and the Iraq War

The front-page of the news yesterday announced that the incumbent Democratic senator from Connecticut, Joseph Lieberman, had lost his party’s primary election, only the third time this has happened to a sitting senator in 30 years. Normally, voters decline to return their representative to congress only in the most egregious cases of misconduct; and even...

Poem: Our Penchant for Bombing

If you had a million billion dollars with which you could Do anything you please Would you build a schoolhouse or a hospital or Bring Arabs to their knees?   If the purse strings of the Treasury were under Your control Would you vaccinate a child or Blow up a larger hole?   With riches...

The Problem with Cirque d’Soleil

Montreal’s famed “circus without animals” has delighted audiences around the globe with its amalgam of acrobatics, clowning, original music, and spectacular lighting effects — all without tortured elephants and disgruntled tigers. The company — or, more accurately, the corporation — has as a hand in seemingly every other show in Las Vegas, where its productions...

Athletic Noise

If you’re a betting man, someone who likes to play the odds, chances are you would wager against the proposition that a professional athlete will say something insightful, useful, enlightening, touching, or even partially intelligent in a post-game interview. Sure, million-to-one longshots occasionally pull through, but is it really worth spending a lifetime of ESPN...

Our Unusual Species

Thanks to sciences like biology and books like the Bible, we humans see ourselves at the apex of nature’s dominion, and not just because we’re at the top of the food chain. We’re special. We’re chosen. We’re God’s favorite of all the creatures. We have feelings, and languages, and the ability to make things that...

Poem: The Desk

The desk at which you sit for maybe one third of your life In eight hour increments that Stacked together Equal a career and a pension (Not in France or the Portugese countryside, mind you, not the Algarve, where golf courses and cheap women tend to the needs of English holiday makers) From which you...

Is There a Correlation?

We┬áinvite scientists looking for fresh hypotheses to prove (or disprove) to investigate these suppositions, applying academically rigorous methodology in the pursuit of truth. Or we can all simply agree that they’re true, knock off early from work, and have a glass of red wine. Is there a correlation between a person’s tendency to litter and...