Tagged: michaelkonik.com

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Being More Like Billie

She loves everyone. That’s a good place to start. As the world seems to be getting angrier and crueler by the hour, our 10-month-old puppy, Billie Henrietta Konik, seems to be getting sweeter and kinder. Yes, of course: she’s the cutest, most adorable creature ever, as all dog owners understand about their pet. But what’s impressive...

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Evictions for Profit: The Ellis Act

The wiki description of California Government Code 12.75, known as the Ellis Act, named after the San Diego state senator who introduced it in 1985, sounds innocuous enough:  “The Ellis Act is a California state law that allows landlords to evict residential tenants in order to ‘go out of the rental business,’ in spite of desires by...

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Resistance Action Plan

How are you resisting? We’ve been asked this question often. How are you resisting “the occupation?” The “fascist state?” Knowing fully how woogie-woogie the answer sounds, we sometimes make a joke about having nothing to resist, what with the current administration’s glaring and obvious kindheartedness, how everything they do is informed by care and compassion. The...

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Chess24.com Commentators

Fanboy alert! We’re developing a platonic man-crush on the smart, eloquent, adorable commentators at the Chess24 site, where players from around the globe congregate for online matches, breaking chess news — yes, there is such a thing — and analysis of the day’s top games. The core stable of erudite talkers includes three Grandmasters (the...

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A Celebration of Attorney General Jeff Sessions

Our nation’s newly installed Attorney General, the honorable Senator Jefferson Sessions, from Alabama, one of the five United States that celebrate Jefferson Davis, leader of the Confederacy, on Martin Luther King Day, has been in the news this week. Some liberal blowhards have a problem with a meeting he might have had with some Russian...

How to Make Yourself Irresistibly Attractive and Attractively Irresistible

Been hiking a lot lately, where what is and isn’t a “fact” seldom is argued. How nice to get away from “the news” — fake and otherwise. How nice to commune with the birds and the trees, basking in the sun, which, incidentally, is in no way whatsoever responsible for warming the planet, since the...

Jersey Limericks

There once lived a man from Secaucus (the part of New Jersey that’s raucous) His house was a dump Befitting a chump Intending to insult and mock us His dream was to live in a tower Symbolic of great phallic power A spire so tall The masses would crawl And grovel and moan and cower...

A Trump Supporter Comes Out of the Closet

It’s easy for smug progressive types to dismiss “Red State” voters as ignorant hillbillies. Their ideals, most Liberal Elites assume, are drastically different than those held by “Blue State” voters, whose value system, unlike the hicks, is built on educated, compassionate, highly-evolved principles. Democratic principles. But have you ever actually talked to a Trump supporter? Actually...

“Great!” Chapter Two

“Great!” my new satire of American Values unveiled here last week was such a hit with the people, I figure I might be on to something. Finally, after so many years of comic obscurity, my dark sense of humor is resonating with millions. I was worried that my satire was a bit too on-the-nose, maybe...

“Great!” My New Satire of America

I’ve started writing a new book, a broad satire of American Values. Working title: “Great!” Some will find my portrait of a country gone off the rails a bit dark, the comedy too black, the irony too on-the-nose. But in times like these, when a megalomaniac with narcissistic personality disorder doesn’t even have to take all...