Tagged: shouts and murmurs

K2O2: The Venture Capital Pitch

Good afternoon. Thank you for this opportunity. I know your time in the shark tank is valuable, so I’ll get right to the pitch. We’re seeking start-up capital to launch our premium lifestyle brand of Himalayan air: K2O2. As some of you might know from high school geography, K2 is a very high mountain peak...

News Quiz

Who said what? “This act of violence shocks the conscience of the world.” A) Eric Holder, on the Boston Marathon bombing. B) Reverend Al Sharpton, on the slaying of another unarmed black man by American police. C) Prime Minister David Cameron, on the downing of Malaysian Air #17. D) None of the above.   “They...

We’re Not Qualified

Look, we’re not qualified to discuss the scientific data on the sun. We don’t have that kind of education. That’s for specialists to debate among themselves. All we know is that there’s a strong case for the sun being the “center” of our galaxy and an equally strong case for us, Earth, being the “center”...

I Welcome That Debate

“I welcome that debate.” — President Barack Obama, reacting to the disclosure of a secret domestic surveillance program operating under his watch. “I welcome that debate,” I said to my wife. She had just discovered that I’d been having — actually, that I am currently having and intend to continue having — an affair with...

Endorsement: Cardinal Roger Mahony for Pope!

The race is on! Now that everyone’s beloved Uncle Joe Ratzinger, also known as “Benedict,” has stepped aside, leaving the Papacy for a comfortable dotage on Vatican property, where he shall remain blissfully shielded from criminal prosecution for the rest of his days, someone (male) will wield the sceptre and wear the mitre! Who will win the title...