Tagged: smart

Celebrating Our National Sheriff of the Year

The Los Angeles Times needs to stop investigating Sheriff Lee Baca. Instead of undermining our top lawman’s authority with pointless reports about this or that allegation, the newspaper needs to focus on falling crime numbers, fewer accidental deputy shootings, and a measurable (if not statistically significant) percentage drop in gross negligence claims against the Sheriff’s...

Getting Good and Bad Mixed Up

Funny, isn’t it? The way things can get turned around completely backwards so that everything means the opposite? We don’t mean Orwellian doublespeak. We’re talking about common words that don’t seem to have a static definition. Like, say, the word “villain.” Pfc. Bradley Manning was called a villain, among many other pernicious names, in the...

Endorsement: Cardinal Roger Mahony for Pope!

The race is on! Now that everyone’s beloved Uncle Joe Ratzinger, also known as “Benedict,” has stepped aside, leaving the Papacy for a comfortable dotage on Vatican property, where he shall remain blissfully shielded from criminal prosecution for the rest of his days, someone (male) will wield the sceptre and wear the mitre! Who will win the title...

Fewer Police, More Peace

This will sound ridiculous. This will sound a little funny, sort of strange, not quite right. Like one of those “Modest Proposal” type satires we’ve been publishing lately. But this time we’re not kidding, not inverting meanings and uncovering absurdities. We’re serious. Here in Los Angeles – and probably in most major cities – there’s a...

Those Ridiculous Clerics!

The nerve of these people! We are outraged. We are livid. This kind of barbarity cannot be permitted in civilized society. Mahmoud Shaaban is an “ultraconservative” Islamic cleric in Egypt. “Hard-line,” “orthodox” – whatever. In the name of his great religion, he and his fellow cleric Wagdi Ghoneim have issued fatwas (edicts) calling for the...

A Modest Proposal For Solving Our Gun Violence Problem

Guns are not the problem. People are not the problem. Young people are the problem. They don’t listen. They play awful video game simulations of mass murder. They shoot six-year-olds. And no amount of background checks or ammo-clip restrictions will change that. There’s only one way to solve the gun situation, one way to bring...

Moshe Kasher

Wise, strong, and polished way beyond his years (33), writer and comedian Moshe Kasher is quickly establishing himself as his own category. He’s becoming known nationally for uncommon confidence in his sexuality (ambiguous), intelligence (superior), and willingness to speak what he believes to be the truth (always). He’s on tour and on Twitter and on TV,...

Very Short Books

Books are far too long, right? Who has time for 300-pages of blabbering on about nothing? Do you know how many tweets you can read in the amount of time it takes to slog through one stupid novel? A lot. And they’re usually way funnier. And unlike books they’ve got hashtags, like #betterthanactuallyreading. Still, in...

Stress

Certain amorphous concepts exist only in the theoretical realm: truth, justice, beauty. Time. Yet we “know” (or think we know) they’re there. Indeed, we’re the ones who manifest them. By observing, say, a ravishing Southern California sunset, or the blossoms of a cherry tree, or our lover’s face, we feel quite sure that Beauty is...

A New Definition of Family

If you wish to align yourself with a mindset that no one will dispute and most will acclaim, proclaim yourself a paragon of “family values.” Earn a reputation as a “family man.” Put “family” before self. Found a right-wing Christian political bribery machine and call it “Focus on the Family.” Do whatever it is you want to...