The Ballad of the Barclay Boys

The Fealty One Deserves When One is RichOh, what a glorious life my uncles have had!

Born to the manor these two fine brothers,

Whose servants sheltered them from feeling sad,

Or foolishly acting too kindly to others.

 

Natural twins from the start, they twinned all through life,

The Harvard® and clerkships and China Bank™.

Jason got married; George needed a wife

To double the wedding and stay equal in rank.

 

Being a Barclay is grand, oh so grand!

Being a Barclay is grand, oh so grand!

Being a Barclay – well, you can’t understand.

 

A Big Fan of the Barclay BoysHow Georgie and Jason achieved to the utmost!

Their lust subject to polite conjecture:

Jetting to Spain, enjoying a slut host,

Eager to hear the twins’ austerity lectures?

 

With work and connections they hatched a large fortune

To add to the one they already had.

More loot to the pile! Ask, importune,

Whine, beg: All for investors in Islamabad.

 

Each boy has his plane, and girls, as well as a boat,

Mansion in Cabo, vineyard in Bordeaux,

A thoroughbred horse, an alpaca goat

Possessed for the purpose of conspicuous show.

 

Being a Barclay is grand, oh so grand!

Being a Barclay is grand, oh so grand!

Being a Barclay – well, you can’t understand.

 

Two Role Models for Aspiring AchieversNow that Jason is a Prez and George is a Vice

They manage a bank that owns half the globe,

Investing in nations naughty and nice –

Oblivious twins missing bits of frontal lobe.

 

How could they know they carry a noxious disease

Deeply embedded in genetic code?

How could they live and not do as they please?

Sharing (or caring) was never their default mode.

 

A sick brain at work is what this song is about,

A mind that’s made up on all the key points.

An outlook devoid of worry or doubt.

As inflexible and stiff as arthritic joints.

 

Oh, yes, now strong medicine is coming their way

They’re going to get the miracle cure

Bid farewell, Jason and Georgie Barclay

To help us make our world sufficiently pure.

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