Thoughts of the Week Blog

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Jersey Limericks

There once lived a man from Secaucus (the part of New Jersey that’s raucous) His house was a dump Befitting a chump Intending to insult and mock us His dream was to live in a tower Symbolic of great phallic power A spire so tall The masses would crawl And grovel and moan and cower...

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A Trump Supporter Comes Out of the Closet

It’s easy for smug progressive types to dismiss “Red State” voters as ignorant hillbillies. Their ideals, most Liberal Elites assume, are drastically different than those held by “Blue State” voters, whose value system, unlike the hicks, is built on educated, compassionate, highly-evolved principles. Democratic principles. But have you ever actually talked to a Trump supporter? Actually...

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“Great!” Chapter Two

“Great!” my new satire of American Values unveiled here last week was such a hit with the people, I figure I might be on to something. Finally, after so many years of comic obscurity, my dark sense of humor is resonating with millions. I was worried that my satire was a bit too on-the-nose, maybe...

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“Great!” My New Satire of America

I’ve started writing a new book, a broad satire of American Values. Working title: “Great!” Some will find my portrait of a country gone off the rails a bit dark, the comedy too black, the irony too on-the-nose. But in times like these, when a megalomaniac with narcissistic personality disorder doesn’t even have to take all...

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Draining the Los Angeles Swamp

Although most of us are acquainted with one or two reasonable and intelligent people who, on Election Day, found a way to rationalize their fears and resentments into a vote for a genuinely vile person, Los Angeles, by and large, didn’t go for Trump. We like to think we’re “better” than that. As he and...

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Goodbye, Obama. Hello, Trump.

Soon, the fearsome power to hurt many people for no good reason (and many bad ones) will pass from one very dangerous man to another very dangerous man. At first blush, Donald Trump’s brand of militarism appears more obnoxious, dunderheaded and foolish than his predecessor’s brand of militarism. Specifically, the calls for updating the nuclear...

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Frightened Families, Vulnerable Schoolchildren and Gelson’s Good Name: The Gardner Street Fiasco

Imagine the unimaginable. Imagine this ludicrous scenario: Imagine if someone showed up at your front door and told you in the coming years he intended on using the yards in your neighborhood as his new toilet facility. Because he likes the location. This stranger, dressed in a bespoke suit and grinning cordially, doesn’t ask permission...

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Edward Snowden: Hero

Edward Snowden has been portrayed as a traitor, a hater of American Values, an endangerer of our brave boys and girls in uniform (and out), a tool of our enemies, a treasonous criminal. Viewed through a foggy lens clouded by fear-based ideology, the charges sound vaguely sensible, like most lies do. He did, after all,...

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Lord of the (Filipino) Flies

Faced with that minor distraction we call the Presidential Election, focused on a brash-talking demagogue of our own, many of us Americans may have only noticed in passing that the Philippines, long our ally in the Pacific, has devolved into deadly violent chaos. Since May, more than 3,000 people have been killed. Based on the...

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How the State Trooper Explains Standing Rock to His Child

“Daddy!” “Welcome home from school, honey. How was your day, little girl? Did you learn a lot in Fourth Grade?” “Yes, Daddy. I did.” “Like?” “Our teacher talked about the savages who were living here way back when before normal Americans discovered America. The Indians. They rode horses and walked everywhere. They had different tribes....