Very Short Books

Very small books worth readingBooks are far too long, right? Who has time for 300-pages of blabbering on about nothing? Do you know how many tweets you can read in the amount of time it takes to slog through one stupid novel?

A lot. And they’re usually way funnier. And unlike books they’ve got hashtags, like #betterthanactuallyreading.

Still, in their own weird way books can still be useful. Especially if they’re short. Especially if they’re short and they answer some niggling question you’ve been having, a question maybe you couldn’t answer to your satisfaction just by searching the Web.

We’ve published several of the old-fashioned boring kind of books. No one is interested in that. So now we’re pledging to get with the times and start publishing modern fun kind of books. Very short books. You don’t have to download them, or pay for them or anything. You can just read them here. Please donate via PayPal if any of these future best-sellers are useful to you.

 

Best-Seller #1

“How to Lose Weight and Keep it Off”Losing Weight is Easy!

By Michael Konik

Want to lose weight? Here’s how: Consume fewer calories than you burn. You’ll lose weight – and keep it off! ©2013

 

Best-Seller #2

“The 3-Hour Work Week: How to Get Rich While Doing Almost Nothing”

By Michael Konik

Being rich is cool. You can be rich too, whether or not you’re of particular use or value to society. The secret? Find someone with even less money than you, preferably a person of color who lives in a place where your modest income would be considered fabulously wealthy, and have that other person do your work for you. There’s always someone less well off than you. You just have to find them and exploit them. ©2013

 

Best-Seller #3

“Vegetables: The Silent Killers”

By Michael Konik

You didn’t know you were gluten intolerant, but studies show 94% of gluten-intolerant Americans didn’t know they were gluten-intolerant until they read an article or book about gluten-intolerance. Same deal with veggies, particularly green leafy ones. If you’re not a “veggie person,” vegetables can upset you and make you feel depressed. News flash: Green is not sexy. Green is deadly – if you’re one of the 7 out of 10 Americans who prefers doughnuts to spinach. Cut out the salads, feel better. ©2013Kristen Stewart, stoner

 

Best-Seller #4

“Kristen Stewart: The Unauthorized Autobiography”

By Michael Konik, without the cooperation of Kristen Stewart

Hi, I’m Kristen. I’m rich, famous, beautiful, sexy, and important. But you definitely don’t want your daughters thinking of me as some kind of role model, even though Robert Pattinson tells me “I love you” like all the time. I smoke pot, and I’m a slut. In a way, my life is a tragedy. ©2013

 

 

Best-Seller #5

“Judging the World’s Religions” (Christian Version)

By Michael Konik

Sometimes it’s hard to know which of the world’s religions is the best, because they all say they are. But if you were born and raised Christian, then you know the answer: it’s Christianity. ©2013

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