A Fun Little Easter Parable

Joe is a human being.

Joe is unsure if he is homoseuxal or heterosexual. But like most human beings, he has urges that involve activities other than procreation.

Rather than figure out who he is or what he likes, Joe decides to sublimate his confusing desires, announcing to the world that he is no longer interested in boys or girls. Instead, he is focusing all his love on a long-dead mystic whose radical ideas changed the world.

Joe’s work brings him in contact with many vulnerable and subservient children.

Joe’s “marriage” to the dead mystic, while spiritually fulfilling, does not address the persistent tingling he feels in his scrotum whenever he’s around vulnerable and subservient children.

Joe attempts to strengthen his marriage, reminding himself how much he loves his physically absent friend, and how much he is loved in return, even though that love does not take the form of a tender caress or a deep kiss.

The tingling persists.

Joe concludes that he is a bad partner in this marriage and blames himself for the inappropriate human feelings he has for other human beings.

Concurrently, everyone who knows Joe reminds him that he is an exalted member of the community, not a tortured monster.

They do not know the truth. Joe cannot resist touching himself, although this self-gratification contravenes the rules of his marriage.

Certain that his marriage is a sham and that he will suffer eternally in purgatory, Joe decides he is not a human being after all, but a fleshy incarnation of the Devil.

He subsequently behaves as though he is possessed, taking full advantage of the vulnerable youngsters in his midst.

His unseen mystic lover is powerless to stop him.

When Joe’s behavior is discovered, few of Joe’s acquaintances wonder out loud about the terms of his strange marriage, or why any human being would voluntarily excise from his life one of the great joys of being a person. They do wonder, though, why Joe never got help for his problem.

When Joe’s replacement arrives, vexed by many of the same doubts and urges as Joe, the community hopes and prays the new guy will be better.

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