Endorsement: Cardinal Roger Mahony for Pope!

cardinal roger mahony executes the sacred whitewash ritualThe race is on! Now that everyone’s beloved Uncle Joe Ratzinger, also known as “Benedict,” has stepped aside, leaving the Papacy for a comfortable dotage on Vatican property, where he shall remain blissfully shielded from criminal prosecution for the rest of his days, someone (male) will wield the sceptre and wear the mitre!

Who will win the title “Most Powerful Catholic on Earth”?

We can’t say. All we know is that it will be someone who thinks the best way to raise poor people out of poverty is to deny them birth control.

Unfortunately, we’re not eligible to vote. For that you have to be a Cardinal under the age of 80. We qualify on only one count. But we do have a rooting interest, a hometown interest you might say. Our man from Los Angeles is eligible and he should be the next Pope of the Catholic Empire.

MichaelKonik.com proudly endorses Cardinal Roger Michael Mahony for Pope.

Next month, Cardinal Mahony, the retired Archbishop of Los Angeles, will be attending the Vatican Papal conclave and participating in the selection of Ratzinger’s successor. Mahony is younger than 80 (76); he gets to vote. He has a right and a duty to vote. So, from a convenience standpoint it’s perfect: he’s already there anyway.

It will be an uphill battle. Some bishops are snickering to the press, claiming that Cardinal Mahony’s presence would be some sort of distraction. A former top Vatican official, Bishop Gianfranco Girotti, had the nerve to say “if his presence creates difficulties or embarrassment, then I think it could be opportune to renounce.”

Embarrassment? This is the Archbishop of Los Angeles, you’re talking about, Gianfranco. The man who expertly steered his congregation through a tumultuous sea of costly litigation, delivering the ship to his successor, Archbishop Jose Gomez, free from bankruptcy and with a somewhat credulous, if shrinking, customer base. The man who fiercely protected the reputations and careers of his employees (the priests), and, thus, his holy Church. The man who very clearly said at one point that he was genuinely sorry about all the sex abuse stuff.

Cardinal Roger Michael Mahony is a great man with a great heart and an even greater mind for numbers, which is a fabulous quality to possess when you’re running one of the largest and richest organizations on the planet. He looks smashing in a big funny hat. People like him.Mahony's Legacy

That Archbishop Gomez recently rebuked Mahony, relieving him of Church duties, for his (mis)handling of all the unpleasantness around here, the naughty bits involving a few bad apples – well, that’s even better reason for Cardinal Roger Mahony to be named Pope. In times of crisis, in perilous times such as these, the Catholic Church needs to show the world once and for all that the answer is not evolution (or “progress”) but a solid faith in the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Particularly as received by St. Peter, inherited by whoever is currently occupying the Vatican office, declared in doctrinal decrees, passed down through intermediaries, and disseminated by kind, caring, compassionate Priests, none of whom suffer predictable mental problems brought on by the absence of sexual pleasure.

Strong. Loyal. Church-loving. Cardinal Roger Mahony will be a Pope who Catholics (and Los Angelenos) can be proud of, particularly those who still attend services and contribute to the Church’s legal bills. Because when you examine his body of work, his career as a spiritual leader ministering to and protecting his flock, you’re reminded that Roger Mahony is in many ways the very model of an ideal Catholic leader.


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3 Responses

  1. Chris Zambon says:

    Creepy on all fronts!

  2. Green Jazz says:

    Very sad to think Mahony is actually eligible but then of course, who knows what the other Cardinals have in their closet?

  3. FINISHED YOUR WONDERFUL BOOK.. ELLA IN EUROPE.. loved it and so did my daughter.. however, about the MAHONY person.. he isnt human.. my life has been exposing the reptilian hybrids.. and he is one.. of.. sorry to tell you that…,. wiolawapress.com
    there is a video from GREECE about my work.. i have taken my website down.. for the infinite attacks on me and my family personally.. do you have a new wonderful dog? hope so.. you are a wonderful parent.. !.. ah ho WIO