K2O2: The Venture Capital Pitch

himalayasGood afternoon.

Thank you for this opportunity. I know your time in the shark tank is valuable, so I’ll get right to the pitch.

We’re seeking start-up capital to launch our premium lifestyle brand of Himalayan air: K2O2.

As some of you might know from high school geography, K2 is a very high mountain peak right next to Mount Everest. O2, of course, is the symbol for oxygen. Put them together and you get K2O2.

Once the K2O2 name gains traction and brand recognition, especially among our key demographic of high earners, we’ll help our customers start calling their favorite bottled air “K-deuce.” Like how Buffalo Wild Wings has become B-dubs and Kentucky Fried Chicken is KFC. We’re K-deuce!

K-deuce – or simply, “the Deuce” – is harvested in Nepal, in the area approximately near K2, which is a very high mountain peak right next to Mount Everest. “The Deuce” suggests a kind of cool, a majestic aloofness. The Deuce is Great Garbo. Miles Davis. Kristen Stewart. The Deuce is an aspirational symbol of purity and rarity.

Literally! As some of you might know from high school science, the air is very thin up there at the top of the world. It’s literally very rare air. Focus group testing has shown that consuming something the average person can’t afford is important to our key demographic. And it’s the main reason the Deuce commands a premium price point. We have to capture eight times the raw Himalayan air to get the same amount of oxygen found at sea level.

But it’s worth it.

Several scientific studies show that air that has been breathed less before it arrives in your lungs is better for you. Good news: air from the Himalayas,08-27-vitalityair where the Deuce is bottled, is cleaner than almost any spot on Earth because almost nobody breathes the air up there. Better news: that translates to good taste. “The best tasting air in the world,” as we like to say. When the paperwork goes through at trademarks and copyrights, we’ll put it on the label. Because it’s actually true. Here’s a great statistic: in blind taste tests, 90%, an amazing nine out of 10 people, say the Deuce is the best tasting air they’ve ever had. So our air tastes good and it’s good for you. Game over.

These charts, which I’ll leave for your review – they show our current cost-to-unit breakdown. We project that within only three years we’ll be able to manufacture enough demand for “the best tasting air in the world” to cover the shipping and bottling costs, which at this point do not benefit from economies of scale. Right now, to supply enough premium Himalayan air for each consumer, we must fill an entire container ship with de-commissioned weather balloons and sail it from Kathmandu to Los Angeles, with a stop in the South Pacific to take on premium bottled water.

When the technology catches up with our ambitions, we’re going to use compressors and other space-saving methods. For now, it’s pretty much one-to-one, plus the packaging.

Other potential downsides that we’ve considered and conquered: competition from other entrepreneurs. We’re the only group currently operating out of Nepal. But climate change has made accessing Antarctica easier, and we anticipate new premium air ventures soon to be based in Chile and South Africa. However, by being a segment leader, the gold standard, we feel K-Deuce will be able to command an even higher price point when inferior competition appears. Their marketing efforts will inadvertently deliver newly educated consumers to our doorstep. The more companies trumpeting the benefits of premium bottled air, the more valuable “the best tasting air in the world” becomes.

The Himalayas are hot right now — well, as hot as an icy mountain range can get! People love anything that says “Himalayan” on it, like that pink salt from Pakistan they sell at Costco.  Premium Himalayan Air: now’s the time to strike.

the purest of the pureOur target is someone highly successful, or someone who aspires to be. Someone who understands there’s nothing too good for him, and he’s not afraid for the world to know it. Someone who likes to be thought of as an environmentalist, but whose interest in the environment is mainly what rare natural resources can be extracted from it for his enjoyment. Someone with exceptionally good taste, or someone who aspires to have it. Someone who understands that her connoisseurship is what elevates her above the great mass of less discerning consumers. Someone who believes that by having the best of everything, including the best air, you have the best life. Our target: winners.

I know my time is up. On my way out I’ll leave a few bottles of delicious and healthful K-Deuce for your breathing pleasure. Thank you so much for your attention, and thank you for what I hope will be a substantial investment in K2O2.



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2 Responses

  1. Adam says:

    Yo! I’m ready to invest. I have $78 right now, and may be getting a check for $150 next week.