No Better Than Us
Russia, Brazil, Ecuador – what’s wrong with these people? Have they lost their collective minds? This week alone, the trio of wiseacres each behaved in ways that seem downright rude toward us, in ways that don’t reflect our best interests. Our being “America’s best interest.”
We’ve been the world’s sole Superpower for some time now, so you’d think lesser countries would have the good sense to emulate every little single thing we do, knowing that with imitation and persistence they too might one day be as great and important a republic as the United States of America. You’d think they would recognize that our way of doing things is basically the right way – because the results speak for themselves.
And it all starts with our abiding respect for individual human rights. For the rule of law. For fairness. All the stuff that makes us America (and what that word connotes). Our most vocal critics, the ones who have the audacity and temerity to question our unblemished track record on everything, have some credibility issues, don’t you think?
Russia: The concept of “free speech” is not recognized in this quasi-dictatorial police state. Either is due process. Or judicial impartiality. So, when Russia refuses to cooperate with our totally polite and routine request that they extradite one of our citizens, some punk hacker we consider a spy and a traitor, allowing him to stay in a protected transit zone at the Moscow airport, all we can do is laugh. Ha! Ha-ha, Russia! What would you do to someone who gave away some of your darkest secrets? Exactly: life in prison, or worse. So you’re no better than us on this one, Vladimir.
Ecuador: The leftist, so-called progressive Correa administration supposedly works for the people of Ecuador, not the multi-national corporations that extract and export its natural resources. But they’ve enacted all sorts of press restrictions on Ecuador’s media. Now reporters live in fear of court subpoenas. How can you take Ecuador seriously when they provide asylum to the Godfather of Leakery Julian Assange? Now they’re contemplating asylum for Edward Snowden. Ecuador also unilaterally withdrew from one of our drug/trade treaties that provided import-duty relief in exchange for a pledge to be our stooges in the War on Drugs. News flash for Quito: ya’ll got rich off of the drug war and you aggressively prosecute big mouth leaker reporter types. So you’re no better than us on this one, Rafael.
Brazil: How many times do we have to remind you? Free markets; private ownership; fewer regulations; austerity – that’s the magic formula. Yet, you people, given the opportunity to do it the American Way, instead choose to protest in front of your Congress, splashing about in fountains and calling for increases in public education and a decrease in the cost of riding public transportation. Tax and spend, spend and tax, that’s your great idea. Have we taught you nothing? Is ingratitude too strong of a word to describe your behavior? Brazilians are demonstrating against public funds being funneled toward sports – futbol, anyone? – instead of ameliorating poverty. Instead of subsidizing a wonderful celebration of corporate hegemony called the World Cup, these closet socialists want more schools. Brazilians, before you samba off into obscurity, let this here proud American remind you that we patriots believe our tax dollars should be spent on stadiums and parking lots that enrich already rich men. So in this way we’re better than you guys, Brazil.
You and Ecuador and Russia are no better than us on matters of civil freedoms, but, obviously, as home to the NFL, NBA, NHL, and MLB (and MLS and Arena League), we’re the world’s leader in getting arenas and ballparks built on the public dime. So are you three better than us?
Obviously, there’s no comparison.