We’ve consulted the elves, fairies, and ancient spirits flitting around our garden, and they’ve offered some insights into the future. We predict: + A cataclysmic environmental disaster on the scale of the 9/11 attacks, such as the entire continent of Australia going up in flames, will spark a global revolution of unprecedented size and impact,...
This week, many of us will enjoy a day off from work, as well as the occasion to pay reverent homage to someone we’ve been taught is a genuine hero: brave, courageous, and diligent, a man whose singular accomplishments made life for all us holiday takers possible. Grand parades will proceed down festive avenues, and...
For proud Americans who might question this author’s patriotism, let us reassure you that this micro-essay is being written while standing. When it comes to our national anthem, we don’t fool around. Unlike certain professional athletes, we understand the powerful symbolism in standing for a song about a symbol (a flag, “The Star-Spangled Banner”), a...
Go to her official site. Right there on the Home Page: “I may not know how to pick husbands, but I know what’s best for our country! I think she’s being funny? #irony Facts: The marriages. She’s had three of them, so far. None of these husbands has lasted longer than two years. Kept first-husband’s...
Pardon the unvarnished straight talk. Let’s hope the Political Correctness Police don’t drag us away to their multi-cultural re-education facility. But someone has got to say it bluntly: We have a serious Muslim Problem here in the United States of America. Last time we checked, the USA was still a Christian nation, with Christian values...
Welcome to your free Life Coaching session. A little bit about me before we get to the more interesting subject of you: I’m “in recovery” from nothing. I have no substance abuse issues. Never been bankrupt. Never been arrested. Height-weight appropriate; free of any chronic physical ailments; all systems working properly. Regardless of external circumstances,...
To most people, Michael Konik is a poet-philosopher-essayist-thought-leader who used to be on TV. To the investment community, Michael Konik is King Midas. What Michael Konik touches turns to something better than gold: ROIs in the mid-teens. That’s why venture capital firms throw money at us; that’s why brokerages want our business. On the heels...
Good afternoon. Thank you for this opportunity. I know your time in the shark tank is valuable, so I’ll get right to the pitch. We’re seeking start-up capital to launch our premium lifestyle brand of Himalayan air: K2O2. As some of you might know from high school geography, K2 is a very high mountain peak...
Since we’ve collectively agreed that guns are a necessary part of American life, we’re beginning to collectively accept that a certain number of us, the unfortunate ones, child scholars, must die. It’s the price we pay for the privilege of owning firearms and the bullets they propel. Whether or not you think semi-regular campus/church/Cineplex/school-shootings are...
Anything’s possible. And that’s what’s so great about being alive at this particularly time in human history, when we’ve advanced so far beyond our ancestors that their antiquated ways of thinking seem mildly pathetic and our fresh, new ways of thinking are bravely innovative. Evolution has brought us far from our monkey origins. Now we...
Hope RekindledThis past week has given us more hope for our diseased republic than any other time in 50+ years of paying attention. Observing and participating in a long-overdue peaceful uprising, occupying the streets, feeling the righteous energy of people of all ages, colors, faiths, and wealth (or lack thereof), has…
Alien invasion! Earth occupied by creatures far smarter than humans! Thousands of years of civilization rendered irrelevant! Cory Finley’s movie adaptation of M.T. Anderson’s novel Landscape with Invisible Hand accomplishes the impressive feat of being simultaneously incisive/critical/instructive and entertaining/funny/touching. While the film is ultimately a scathing indictment of colonialism, capitalism, and artificial intelligence, the action...
