The Political Odds

With the early returns from Iowa in hand, those inclined to wager on the next President of the United States can find betting “lines” (odds) on various illegal gambling sites. Although our friends in the middle of the country, land of cornfields and “core values”, might not be perfectly representative of the average voter in, say, Brooklyn or the Bay Area, they’re a barometer of the national mood. Knowing how pig farmers in Cedar Rapids feel about the unspeakably ambitious characters running for the highest office in the land helps clever gamblers make good decisions. With that in mind, we’re delighted to release our own Betting Odds on the race for the White House. 

Chance that Americans will elect a Black man as President: 10-1

Chance that Americans will elect a Southern Baptist Preacher or someone with avowed allegiance to a “higher power”: 2-1

Chance that a “bitch” will become President: 1-1

Chance that a non-issue — gay marriage, etc. — will decide the election: 1-4

Chance that the allegedly liberal media will hype the prospects of a decidedly illiberal misanthrope: 1-2

Chance that the average American will have almost no idea of the substantive differences between the candidates: 1-10

Chance that there will be substantive differences between the leading candidates: 15-1

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